You know you have an ostomy when...

***showering "fully" naked...one of my true joys in life!

...whenever the dog sneakily farts and stinks up the room you check to make sure your bag's not leaking.

That is sssoo true about the dog farting... I've checked my bag more times this weekend than ever because one of my dogs had a gas problem. I even asked my honey if he had a tummy problem or what because I checked, it wasn't me!

I have also had people walk past my desk at work and cut one and think I need to check my bag. Which can be interesting since my cube is on a busy walkway.

Last night we had a huge birthday bash for my step daughter and someone brough some food with them. The grandkids were standing next to me and the table and said, 'ohhhh, smells like someone just pooed!' and I looked down to check if my pouched hadn't just leaked.
It was the recently arrived tuna-moose!
Sharon

I let the man in to take a meter reading and just as I had finished tellng him where it was, my stoma (roger) let out the most enormous noise, needless to say the meter man left pretty quick !!!! I had a chuckle to myself!!But I bet he was thinking how rude and unlady like I was!! lol
Shelly xx

you know you have an ostomy when...
you'd rather empty your bag in a gas station restroom en route, where the smell will go un-noticed, than wait to get to your destination.

You want to create a barrier of some kind to keep the seatbelt off your stoma cause it is just "uncomfortable".

A rude person who barely knows you (but loves to gossip) walks up to you at work and asks "do you have a BAG?" with a sneer, like it is any of their business and you hold up your purse and say "Yes! I got it on sale at Penney's. Isn't it cute?".

...you look for shirts that are long and loose when shopping.

...you unconsciously put a hand over your bag to check if it's time to empty. (I found myself doing this even after I had my take-down for awhile! I've got my 4th temp ileostomy right now...)

...you buy the extra large, economy size bottle of loperamide (Imodium) and carry it everywhere with you.

...you have stopped wearing belts with pants.