Wild sex life possible?

If a vibrator works the real thing will work eventually. I think you're right, it's nerves. I don't know what I can tell you to do about that that you don't already know. Xanax?

Anyway, I'm so glad you found someone to spend time with and that he likes you. Please mention to him that if he's ever NOT nice he will receive the wrath of the peeps here.

kathy

Sounds to me like you were putting the "cart before the horse," so to speak, by having a lot of penetration before you were ready. Satisfying sexual experiences are not about rapid pounding, etc., like you see on porn movies, but more about a slow build up so that you are both equally excited and ready. There's a thing called mutual masterbation that gets everyone on the same page, in regards to readiness.

Like Kathy said, if a vibrator is OK, then you know everything works. Most of sexual satisfaction is in the mind, so you need to feel relaxed and in the mood. If you are in pain, it is sort of a show stopper. More relaxation, stimulation, and foreplay will make things happen. Plus, there is lots of variety in positions to try.

(P.S. There is no rule that says you have to achieve orgasm through intercourse. You can even bring in your vibrator as part of the foreplay!)

Jan

The first time after a long time is definitely always going to be some degree of uncomfortable, pouch or not. Don't ask me how I know...

I agree with Jan, intercourse may be how babies are made (usually) but it's not the pinnacle of sexual expression. You should be having fun, when you are you may find intercourse easier and more pleasurable.

Just give oral...always satisfies me..lol

I was married for my first operation, the colectomy, but my wife couldn’t handle the scars and the ileostomy I had, so divorce happened, and I thought my sex life was over. I had my J pouch a couple of years later, and since then I’ve dated several different partners. It was a little awkward with most of them, as there are some things I just can’t do any more – can’t sleep naked, can’t sleep through the night without getting up, that kinda thing. Also, I’ve found that my stamina for long sessions is massively reduced, and the drugs I take have produced a mild anorgasmia – I can only really “finish” 1 time in 10. Again, not much hope on the horizon for me!

However, in January of this year I started seeing my current partner, and she’s totally accepting of all those issues, and I can honestly say the sex has never been wilder. Yes, I have to take occasional runs to the bathroom, but a little preparation (emptying beforehand) cuts that to a minimum. Yes, I can’t finish quite often – but that means I can keep going, and she is more than a little happy with that part of it!! We started with relatively vanilla sex, but have progressed to some quite serious domination, bondage, toys – all sort of wild stuff. I think the times I spent in hospital have got rid of any last vestiges of inhibitions, and we just go for it, as often and as wild as we like.