In the 60's-90's I would hide my abdominal scars from public view out of fear of....? what? Scaring children? Disgusting adults? Or just fear of people seeing my scars...now everyone shows them here and no one hides them so maybe it is time to stop hiding the fact that we wear appliances or have stomas or bags or scars...it could have been accidental or not that her clothing was transparent...doesn't matter...I would have applauded her and thanked her for being so couragous.
And if it was just accidental (????) then I would applaude her even more for being so comfortable with it that she no longer thinks about hiding it.
Just me.
Sharon

I was with you until I went back and realized she was wearing a clear bag... Not being ashamed of your ostomy (which I'm totally on board with) is a litttttle different from literally showing everyone your poop.

Granted if it was in a restaurant or fast food it may have an adverse effect on the customer orders!
Sharon

Some people just don't look in the mirror before leaving the house. But, I am not sure how well received it would have been to be told about it. Personally, I would appreciate being told something like that (at least I would hope so!). I think it is kind of similar to telling a fellow he might want to zip his fly or that his pants are split!

Jan

Yes! But this reminds me of a story my dermatologist told me. He was standing in the checkout line at his local Home Depot and he told me the guy in front of him had an obvious melanoma on the back of his neck. He struggled for a few minutes as to whether to say something to the guy, who was not his patient, and not even aware that a dermatologist was lurking behind him, spying on growths on his neck. Finally my Doc felt that he could not stay silent due to his Hippocratic oath. He politely tapped on the man's shoulder, told him he was a licensed and experienced dermatologist, and told him he had a growth on his neck which he was recommending the man have examined. The guy apparently thanked him for the gratuitous and unsolicited advice. It's unknown what happened to him, but my Doc said it was a clearcut melanoma, and the guy probably could not see it due to its location at the back of his neck.

In your case, the issue is not really health and safety, but cosmetic appearance. Staying silent in your case was the right thing to do. If she is an adult she can take care of her own appearance and if she doesn't it certainly is not your problem.

If her ostomy was leaking stool onto the floor, that would be a different story.

Regarding the clear bags, I wore them when I had my temporary ileostomy, and I used to be grossed out looking at them. So I can only imagine what an unsuspecting third party would think.

Out of curiosity, is there a reason for the clear vs opaque bags? Is it just to learn how much input is in it or personal preference?

During my hospital stay they only had clear ones to put on because the nurses need to see your output. Then they sent me home with a whole box of them so I used them up. I didn't like them at all because of the ick factor but I didn't want to waste them. Then I ordered the opaque bags.

Is it the dermatologist or is it the 'skirt in the pantyhose'? I always get involoved if it is a medical thing (allergic reaction, someone falling down etc) or lettuce in the teeth during a meeting...I even hand out kleenex like candy during lectures when I see people with thingies hanging out of their noses but an ostomy bag? I would agree with the idea that if it was leaking I would help (or if someone had their period) but spontaneously saying to someone, 'I can see your crap through your clothing and bag' is a can of worms that I'm not sure that I would want to open...what would be their reaction? 'So what?', 'I know.', 'what is it your business?' or would they be mortified or embarassed? I try to avoid embarassing anyone so I guess that if it didn't bother them then I would leave them be.
Sharon

Sharon,

Your post reminds me of another story. This happened during the summer of 1990 before my final year of law school. Me and one of my colleagues on the law review were placed in charge of running the law review writing competition. He and I worked long hours all alone in the law review office working on that project. One day we got hungry after working long hours developing the exam question for the students. We decided to go out and get sandwiches. We were both starving and there was a little sandwich shop about 2 blocks north of our location. So we decided to go there because it was close and quick and we were really hungry.

We ordered our sandwiches. As both of us watched, the lady making his sandwich sort of half sneezed, wiped a long strand of dangling snot from her nose with her bare hand, and then continued making my friend's sandwich as if nothing had happened. No wiping of her hands, nothing. Her snot was in his sandwich. I was mortified. He was mortified. If you think I am a bit of a loose cannon, I am nothing compared to this guy. He literally started yelling at the woman as she wrapped up his sandwich. He told her she was disgusting, told her we were not buying the sandwiches and he walked right out with me fast on his heels. I think we ended up ordering a pizza and taking it back to the law review office.

This was 1990, and using plastic gloves to make sandwiches was not yet in vogue.

I have not talked to him in a long time and I am going to call him tomorrow and remind him of that story. He always enjoys talking about the "good ole days." LOL

Of course, in this instance, plastic gloves would not have made any difference!

Jan

I stick to the "Five Minutes/Tools on Hand" Rule. If the person can fix the problem within five minutes and/or with the tools on hand, tell them. Skirt tucked into their pantyhose -- tell, easy fix. Stain on their shirt? Say nothing. They probably already know and even if they don't, there is nothing they can do about it at the moment anyway. Hem coming down from someone's skirt at the office? Tell, they can fix it with a stapler until they get home.

Works for me.

Thanks all, I feel better about keeping quiet now. I was up half the night the other night worrying over whether or not I should have said anything. I couldn't imagine how that conversation possibly could have happened and ended well. It's not the first time I've noticed someone else had an ostomy while out and about but seeing the contents was a bit of an event even for me.