Vanity question

Four years out from surgery I am thin but no flat tummy. Always a puff there, but I have also had two c sections. It annoys me but I am also 52 so I try not to stress over it. I do yoga , run on the treadmill and also work out w weights w no issues.

I am 52 also and my bikini days are long over.  I still have the grand canyon look (I call it my second butt) for a belly and my belly button is now off to the left by 1 inch.  I am 5'5 and 125 lbs.  Doesn't bother me.  I had 3 incisional hernias removed and the surgeon told me that I will never have six pack abs again since the fascia (?)  Can never be repaired.

I am 51 years old and I don't have a flat tummy but I am far from being totally out of shape.  At one point my weight was over 200 pounds but I now weigh about 170.  I think when you are in your 50s the washboard abs are not really going to be happening except for a small % of the population.  I am reminded of the Peyton Manning commercial on this issue, one of my all time fave commercials:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGmX6m78zDM

 

There is a guy in my CCFA suport group, J Poucher for 10 years, mid 40s or so, biker, and he does have some tight abs.

 

I had a flat stomach after surgery.  In fact, I had a "concave" stomach after surgery, lol. 

 

Through my 20's, I was pretty flat.  After my daughter, I worked out like a mad woman, and was pretty flat, too. 

 

I'd say yes, to a point, but it takes work, and a body inclined to go that way.  I had my surgery at age 19, and I had youth on my side. 

 

I am 54, have a k pouch (abdominal pouch with a stoma) and have had 6+ hernia repairs (most with mesh) and over 18 abdominal surgeries.

I have a 'somewhat' flat stomach if you do not count that one side is sort of flatter in a different spot than the other 

I had some cosmetic surgery to redo my mainline scar (used to be the St Andrea fault), reduce 3 old stoma sites and remove a fat pack on the right over my pouch.

No where near perfect result (it took 3 surgeries to get to where I am now.... )but I can live with this (I am 54!).

I walk a lot with a heavy backpack. Mostly uphill, so I tend to hold my abs in tight while climbing, pull in butt and straiten back...I have noticed a remarkable result. It is now a natural reflex. I also 'flap' my arms a lot while walking and it has helped with those 'wing' things hanging off of them! (Paranoid that one day someone is going to film me and put it on a social network site! Yikes!!!)

I no longer workout in spite of the fact that I have been a fanatic about it my whole life. I have integrated my workout into my lifestyle and am seeing steady results. 

You may never have a perfect 6pack again, or you may need some help to get there but do not ever feel guilty about retainning a bit of vanity and dignity. For me it was part of my healing process. 

When I do not care about what I look like I know that I am down but when I do care about appearences it means I am doing better.

Good luck getting those abs back

Sharon

Awh, thank you guys for replying. It's all helpful.  I don't understand what the puffiness is. It's not fat. It's not food in there. Maybe it us just the innards not being held as tightly by the muscles?  I will ask my doctor about the fascia thing. All good thoughts. And 

Ctbarrister, that clip was perfect!  I'm about to turn 47 and have always had  a real flat tummy - right up until my first surgery last August. I am heeding Sharon's advice and not pushing myself, but it is tempting. I really appreciate that Sharon recognized that I felt I conflicted about allowing myself this concern. It's just that how I've looked all my life is part of my identity and I sometimes struggle with wondering if I will ever be 'the same" again. (Not just in my looks). 

I guess the answer is No. But that doesn't mean worse, just different. Right?  And I guess in the ways that matter, I am still the same. 

Thanks agsin. Still open to hearing any other input on tummy fitness!

 

 

Gentle,

Never feel embarassed about your vanity. It is a very healthy part of the human being and a sign of a healthy psychy.

Vanity is often the only thing that we have left after they have stripped us of our guts, dignity (all of those darn tests) and exams where strangers are pushing and touching our privates.

As a kid, my mom was a maniac about it. Pretty nighties, always freshly washed hair etc. When they did my k pouch I was 18. I had an angel of a night nurse. She would come in at 5am, wash, powder & perfume me, do my hair and make-up so that at 6 am when my surgeon did rounds I was fresh and ready. I did not feel like a victim but an actor in my own healing process. It went a long way to building my relationship with my surgeon and his trusting my decisions. I wasn't weepy and angry but upbeat and positive.

Still doing it today. Always ready for rounds. (brush teeth first too!)

Although my body is not what I would like it to be, I still work on making it better...I have a responsibility to myself (and my students)...I don't want to wear my illness on the outside. 

So do what you need to do to feel like 'yourself' again...but take your time and do it gently...

Sharon 

I agree that vanity is to some extent an essential human component and that without it, our self-dignity and self-worth could begin to erode.

 

The subject of vanity in general can be an interesting discussion.  I recall many years ago I was at the office of an insurance company for a mediation.  During the mediation, at some point I excused myself to use the men's restroom.  When I got to the restroom, I observed at the end of the room a full length vanity mirror.  Standing in front of the mirror, and preening intently at the reflection of himself in his duds, including a dapper designer leather jacket, was a gentleman I knew to be a high ranking executive of the insurance company. Most guys, when they are caught by other guys preening in front of a bathroom mirror, will become embarrassed and will cease and desist the behavior.  This is because preening at oneself in a bathroom mirror is viewed as "vain" and "unmanly."  This guy, however, was absolutely unfazed by me observing him preening at himself, and he made no effort to stop.  I then proceeded to take a 10 minute bowel movement.  When I finally came out of the bathroom stall, he was still in front of the mirror - adjusting his jacket and shirt, patting down the lapels, admiring the perfection of it all.  I was struck by how absolutely  candid and unabashed his vanity was.  It was at least a 10 minute preen- and I have no idea how long before I arrived it had started, so it could have been a 20 minute preen.

 

I think such behaviors are probably much more common and accepted in a lady's restroom, as far as applying makeup, lipstick, adjusting hair etc.  But it's really rare to see unabashed vanity like what I described in the men's restroom.

Teehee!  Guess I've had IBD too long. My first assumption is he was waiting out a fart, doing bathroom yoga to get that second push, etc. :-). Of course, he also may have been wanting to be fashionably late to something, or who knows what. 

But you're right. It's an interesting topic because we haven't defined what's healthy vanity and self-care pride ("not wanting to wear my illness on the outside" - love that), and what's narcissism. 

Perhaps I'll get a better handle on that later. For now I just need to figure out if abdominal fascia gets damaged and what that means. Thanks all for chiming in!