I check and wipe the toilet every time but because some spots don't show up until hours later some remaining spotting is inevitable. Sometimes it's nasty looking and it's causing major tensions at home because it appears to others as if I don't give a sh_t. I put toilet paper on the water but it's only partially helpful. I'd welcome any suggestions.
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The Toto Washlet bidets that have the "eWater" feature spray the bowl before and after use. It helps enormously. It doesn't do anything for the inside surface of the rim or the underside of the seat, though.
I've considered a Toto simply because of the savings from all the wipes I go through but that will not solve my problem. However I'm referring to spotting in all sorts of places, under the toilet seat, on the toilet seat, on the toilet cover etc. I don't know about you but unless I've got formed or pancake mix like poop it's difficult to prevent splashes going in all sorts of directions. If there's any gas involved, well, watch out boys we're talking supersonic launch speeds. I put toilet paper down most of the time but no matter how hard I try, no matter if I wipe the toilet down, I still miss spots. You can't clean what you can't see and until it dries out it's pretty much invisible. So, come on folks, help me out. My wife is losing patience.
Women and toilets are a tough combo! My father has UC with a permanent ostomy. He is also pretty much blind. He tries to clean up but he cant see. I hate going in the bathroom after him but i just deal with it. I know he tries but the guy is 92 and blind. She needs to just suck it up! Life is hard, yours is even harder. Dont make it any more complicated. I feel her pain! I truly do! But im sure you are doung the best you can 
I suggest Lysol or similar antibacterial spray, or bleach spray cleaner.
I spray, then wipe dry with toilet paper. Every time.
Jan
I don't know who makes the stuff but buy stock now. Costco here I come.
This is what I use (not the stuff in the aerosol can). Smells nice, like lemons. The bleach based cleaners are great too, but I've ruined some clothes by get drips on them.
https://www.lysol.com/products...all-purpose-cleaner/
Jan
NYC,
You not really going to win this one. Best bet is to find a home that has more than one bathroom and make sure she never sees yours.
Great answer. And absolutely the perfect solution.
A private bathroom sounds nice, but most of us can't just move to a house with an extra bathroom. Besides, what are you going to do? Put a padlock on it?
As the designated house cleaner, I appreciate folks trying to keep things as neat as possible. It makes it easier for me if I clean up after myself.
Another thing we did is to replace our toilets with a "super flush" type. It does not require extra plumbing or electricity, but has a valve opening that is twice as large as standard, so the entire tank empties fast with a whoosh, and it is not noisy like a power boost flush. It is an American Standard Champion 4. It does not solve the toilet seat splatter though. But, when I use the spray, it highlights even the tiniest spots. Easier and cheaper than a new house.
Jan
Great replies so far. We have super flush as well but it never quite helps with bowl residue. Why does J pouch poop stick like glue?? So I keep a big red solo cup by the toilet and give an extra post flush rinse with hot water. Works like a charm.
Jan Dollar posted:A private bathroom sounds nice, but most of us can't just move to a house with an extra bathroom. Besides, what are you going to do? Put a padlock on it?
As the designated house cleaner, I appreciate folks trying to keep things as neat as possible. It makes it easier for me if I clean up after myself.
Another thing we did is to replace our toilets with a "super flush" type. It does not require extra plumbing or electricity, but has a valve opening that is twice as large as standard, so the entire tank empties fast with a whoosh, and it is not noisy like a power boost flush. It is an American Standard Champion 4. It does not solve the toilet seat splatter though. But, when I use the spray, it highlights even the tiniest spots. Easier and cheaper than a new house.
Jan
Jan... I don't have a big house but it has 3 bathrooms. I hit two of em. The smallest is where the cat box is and no one goes there. Lol.
My wife doesn't say anything. She is just happy I am healthy. But I just clean em both up myself twice a week.. Not really a solution but an understanding wife.
Richard.
Jan Dollar posted:A private bathroom sounds nice, but most of us can't just move to a house with an extra bathroom. Besides, what are you going to do? Put a padlock on it?
Jan
A padlock isn't necessary there are other deterrents that will keep the spouse from entering into the toxic zone. I always try to give it a once over but my wife knows if she wants a spotless bowl, she should stay away from "my" bathroom.
I use I scented baby wipes to clean myself (after wiping with toilet paper) and then I wipe any splatters with the baby wipe and throw it in a small covered trash can. I empty this trash can myself once or twice a week as needed. I feel for you, it is hard to keep the commode clean. An annoying part of this adventure.
I appreciate everyone trying to help. Guys, I don't know if you've ever had occasion to take those pill that make you pee orange and to then observe the reality of the splashdown of pee from above but it's a major reality check. Our pee spreads it's self far from the limits of the toilet bowl. Ask any urologist. In any case the reality of the other part of our digestive process is equally widespread when it has any kind of liquid content. Bombs away and all that. Oh well, I'll continue to wipe everything I can see and then some and just have to deal with the resulting rants when I miss a spot, or spots or more. Ugh. Still, it's better than before so I'll deal.
I live alone so I don't have the same pressure, but I still despise the dreaded "backsplash" as I like to keep a clean home, and scrubbing the toilet multiple times per day gets tedious. But I discovered something that works, at least to some degree: I spray the toilet with Method Daily Shower Spray after I flush. It slowly runs down the sides of the bowl. This helps keeps any stains from sticking and also helps wash any backsplash away. (You can also use Tilex Fresh Shower or something similar - I prefer Method as it is a natural product free of harsh chemicals)
Don't bother with 2000 Flushes or those Lysol cubes you stick in the bowl. They never did anything for me, apart from having emerald green toilet water, which I don't find that appealing.
My husband put a spray attachment on my tiolet. He hooked it up down at the bottom where you turn the water off and it works great. It's small and on a long rubber or steel hose. You men would know what I'm trying to explain.
Like AKT2, I pour a large plastic glassful of water along the inside of the toilet before I go (empty really - I have an ostomy, but jpouch and ostomy contents are similar.) It prevents a lot from sticking. I do it again when I'm done and then a baby wipe on the rim, etc.. It's pretty fast, down to a science now. My husband even suggested the old "light a match" when I'm done and it helps with odor a lot. I will say, i look like I'm prepared for wilderness hiking in there!
What I use for "toilet splash" are Clorox Wipes. I fold a wipe into fourths, use one side, then fold it over and use the other side. That way it is thick enough each time to keep your hands clean and do a thorough job cleaning the toilet. It works great inside the bowl and on the seat. I tend to have some 'splatter' when my stool is not as thick, and that's when I need the wipe. Occasionally I might even use two. I recommend Clorox Wipes over Lysol. I've tried both, and the Clorox work best for me. I buy them at BJ's Warehouse in large packs of 5 containers. They are cheaper that way, especially with a coupon, and last a long time. But you can find the wipes in many stores. I live with one other person in a two-bathroom place so I have my own bathroom, but I still can't stand using a dirty toilet. I try to avoid public toilets whenever possible. I have had my Jpouch for 25 years, so I have some experience in this area.
My wife just asked what I was laughing about, so I showed her the topic heading. I am in the exact same boat. I clean that toilet more times in a week than some people need to in an entire year, and hey sometimes I just miss some. Hadn't thought about it not showing up till some time later. Going to use that as an excuse for a while now. I generally need to go once during the night, that's the one that always seem to get me in trouble. No advise just glad you shared your story.
You can't clean, what you can't see, and as we all know, many of the spots simply don't make an "appearance" until later on. When I bear down and there's gas in my system, the gas acts as rocket fuel and I know I'm in trouble. So I clean even where I don't see anything and hope I've succeeded. Recently I've taken to placing a lot more toilet paper over the water and that's helped some but in the end, and it's the end that we're dealing with, those brown spots will rear their ugly head and generally lead to unpleastries at home.
I use one of those cleaning pods that goes in the reservoir. It keeps the bowl clean. Then I use disposable lysol wipes for the under side of the seat and the rim. It doesn't always get everything, but it keeps it from getting too out of hand. There are definitely some permanent stains. My suggestion is to just continue explaining to your wife that you cannot always get every spot off the toilet every time you use it. It would require you to completely clean the toilet every time you use it. If you wife just does not get it, offer to clean the toilet yourself?
I used to use those toilet tank additives (blue, clear, etc.), but they all damage the rubber seals and valves over time. In the long run, it was easier for me to clean each time than to do the toilet repairs (especially since I do all the plumbing repairs!). Upgrading to a toilet with a better flush and "non-stick" finish was my best move.
Jan
Learning a lot here. I have my own bathroom, but I know I can do a better job of keeping it cleaner! Good ideas here. Gas = rocket fuel -- this is funny and very true!
It's problems such as this as to why I live by myself and am miserable about it at the same time too.
This was why I wasn't willing to use an Asian squat toilet some years back. I figured I might need new shoes afterwards.
Bombs Away!!!!!!!!!!!
I am also fortunate to have my own bathroom. My wife has appropriately named it “The Gas Chamber”.
BillV posted:I am also fortunate to have my own bathroom. My wife has appropriately named it “The Gas Chamber”.
Hasn't she ever heard "don't kick a dog when it's down?" 
Great topic, and great replies. With two j-pouches out of four people in our house, it is just a given that the toilets are going to get messy. Actually, I don't make messes often. I have continued to eat a Metamucil wafer with each meal, and it bulks things up enough that I don't have the explosive BM's. When I don't eat them with a meal, or if I'm just having digestive issues, then it happens.
My daughter doesn't want to mess with eating fiber supplements, even though she likes the taste of the wafers. For her it's just one more supplement to worry about. She's 13 now, and has considered trying it as she is more socially self-conscious, but so far hasn't followed through. So any toilet she uses ends up being very messy.
And she wouldn't appreciate me sharing this, but... with the longer toilet bowl and seat, and with her small frame, the back end of the seat isn't covered by her - and I have found splashes on the top of the back of the seat, and even on the walls at times. We encourage her to use a squirt bottle after going, and / or bleach wipes, to clean things up.
The only thing that bothers my wife at this point is having to clean off the toilet - it's hard work to get that stuff off the bowl and underside of the seat! So the cleaning has become our daughter's job
- Steve
Ultimately, though, we just have messy toilets until they get cleaned.
It's so nice to hear some straightforward replies all around. I've recently taken to putting a little more toilet paper on top of the water, trying not to bear down too hard and fire off those gas powered water bombs, and wiping areas I know might be places where spots show up hours later; the back of the toilet seat being a primary target. I've never tried metamuscil because I've been concerned that it might solidify things too much. It's always a balancing act. When things get too solid it's just as bad as when things are liquid as I then have to bear down much harder to pass them. Woe is me, woe is me.
It a viscous circle eh?
Get it?
Lol.
I actually just clean my toilets with a homemade spray of water and white vinegar. I spray all the nasty spots, let it sit a few minutes, then give it a good scrub with the toilet brush and voila!
I had the problem with a pouch that I don't have anymore so I can relate.
I have a bag now which I find after having a pouch is about the same. They both make a mess and have to be looked after.
You just have to have understanding spouses. I have one. Fortunately. She knows I will get around to it. Sooner or later. I also do other house work so it gets by passed at times.
Richard.
P. S.
You guys just made me scrub a toilet!
Hope ya'll are happy. Lol...!
Vicious circle, no ifs, ands ...........
My husband bought a bidet for himself that he hooked up. However, In my humble opinion..this issue should not cause tension. I am grateful that my husband is alive, why get tense about that?
I was wondering when something as sensible as your post would come up. Thanks. I'm not dead either.
Great point! I am very grateful to be alive and also thankful that my husband is here to share my life with me. Still, it annoys me when he misses the target and some pee gets on the floor. I don't rub his nose in it. I just clean it up. Sometimes women see things that are invisible to men. Is that sexist or what?! 
After over 45 years together and 40 years of marriage, we don't sweat the small stuff; and it is ALL small stuff!
Jan 
Men don't pee on the floor intentionally but the toilet keep moving, relatively that is.
Jan Dollar posted:Great point! I am very grateful to be alive and also thankful that my husband is here to share my life with me. Still, it annoys me when he misses the target and some pee gets on the floor. I don't rub his nose in it. I just clean it up. Sometimes women see things that are invisible to men. Is that sexist or what?!
After over 45 years together and 40 years of marriage, we don't sweat the small stuff; and it is ALL small stuff!
Jan
Ahhhh... Common sense. Here too. My wife is happy I am better after all these years.
As for hitting the target. My days of standing are pretty well over. If I am in there I may as well sit down and rinse my bag! So no big problem.
