Bodoni,
Sometimes the stoma is tighter due to dehydration...I hadn't realised it in the begining...I couldn't understand why sometimes there was no problem ( with lube) and other times it was nearly impossible...then I asked myself what was different and it was the amount of liquids I had drunk during the day/night...Olive oil helps too...it is even better than lube for a tight stoma...less stress on the valve too...plus, obviously, what Vanessa said...if if is too tight then you need to dialate it a touch with a slightly bigger tube or a stoma plug that can keep it dialated a bit longer. (I make my own, pm me for how)
Other than the stoma, how are you doing?
Sharon