first off, congratulations for finding someone and having the courage to try...next, yes, it gets better but your biology has changed, your rectum is no longer there, and the trajectory of your vaginal canal is slightly altered...so,
1. Lube and lots of it, you are tighter and need the little bit of help
2. The angle has changed so try different positions until you find one that allows things to go the way you want them to
3. Take it slowly and don't rush, you will be stressed and nervous and that is the enemy of sex
4. Try using a pillow under your butt to change the position/angle of your lower back
5. Laugh and have some fun and the rest will be easy
Sharon

definitely laugh and relax!

Thanks ladies! One last question, is that pressure feeling/feeling like I have to have a bowel movement during sex common? Will it go away? I know it's impossible, but I always imagine something ripping in the (what would be) rectal area. My Dr. is Dr. Remzi - and he is great! He is always considerate of my personal life but I want advice from women who actually know what I am physically going through. So thanks again!

Yes, It is normal for me...feel like (sorry for the graphics here but...) like a sausage is up there and needs to come out Now! Yup it is impossible, no it is not real but that is what it feels like...don't know if it is phantom pains, residual inflamation or something else but the zone is stimulated during sex and it happens constantly...after 30+yrs I just block out the sensation now and ignore (I am good at that)..
Go, have fun and enjoy...life is way too short to waste it and it is getting shorter by the minute!
Sharon

Sex hurt me until now. I can now have sex and I had surgery 12/2011 so about a year and a half out. I tried it all, hormone cream helped a lot. Estrace is what they gave me. No lube in the world did it. My wall would not stretch at all.

sydney, see if you can get into see a urogyn at CC. I see Dr. Ridgeway and she is FABULOUS (Dr. Remzi is my colorectal surgeon), but booked out very far and is also gone in a few months for a few months.

pelvic floor therapy may help too.

Yes, I have same. The nerve endings are very alive for me. Plus, the Kpouch sits next to the bladder which sits right there next to vagina..try to empty both bladder and pouch before sex (I know, planning sucks right?).

Unfortunately hard penetration will send me to the roof so changing positions may help so you can control this.

After menopause it is far worse from lack of lubrication and vaginal atrophy. If that is the case, then lube and/or estradiol tabs or cream can help although all it does is give me yeast infections (which I never suffered from before).

Try not to get to mental about this. It is very common for women with and w/o colon surgery to experience penetration problems.

Thanks so much ladies! I thought about going to the gyno and getting an estrogen patch as well. Funny story I want to share and see if you experience this too....

I notice that when he is able to "go deeper" I hear a squishing/swoshing sound! Like liquid being swoshed around - it's only when he goes deep and I try and moan louder so he doesn't hear it! LOL Is that normal? I always empty before sex and on days I know I'm having sex - I hardly eat!! What is that???