I have had to self dilate. I hate doing it. I do it very infrequently. I think I would feel better if I did it more regularly. My advice is to go to a sex shop. You need to buy a soft, vibrating anal stimulator. That is what I did. I had one for years, which came to a very narrow point. Now I can't find a replacement. The vibration helps with the insertion. You are not pushing anything, it kind of goes in by itself. I hope this is helpful.