Please do not think of hot sex and affection in the same sentence.  For the best relationship, you need both, with affection providing the best basis for good sex.  I had ED after my first surgery many years ago and have found that 25mg of Viagra works wonders.  There are other similar medications, some available as generic, that also can be effective.  I have no complaints about my love life now, but will not be graphic about it.  Enjoy your time together now, and deal with ED only if and when it happens.  Your operation will only be a disaster for both of you if you allow it to occur.

Thank You so much Billy for your great reply. 

Yes indeed affection is even more important than the greatest sex !!!  Just holding her close and feeling her breath on my neck is even more special.

You have given me a lot to think about Billy , thank You .

Well, if you are able to have erections now, you should be good to go in regard to surgery related effects. Since you already have a j-pouch, your rectum has already been removed. They do the surgery with nerve sparing techniques. Of course, if you have to have your j-pouch removed at a later date, you face the same risks. Still, the surgeon always takes great care in that area. I see from your other thread that you suffer with chronic pouchitis and pouch removal may be a reality for you. I am sure that the experience of the surgeon will play a big role. Don’t forget that age related ED is common even without pelvic surgery, and us women are less concerned about it than men are.

Jan

Hi Jan.....well unfortunately I Do still  have  my Rectum .  This is my worry. I have only met my Lady friend and the wonderful sex we had was the first for a long time !! I will Not risk losing that just when I've found it again . I had almost forgotten how goox it feels.  My pefformance was ....almost Flawless ( so she says  !) lol...so I want to keep it that way . I can satisfy a woman even without getting hard but would prefer to give her the full treatment since she loves it so much  that way.

OK, now I am confused. Your profile says you have an ileoanal anastomosis. Your posts say you have a j-pouch (although diverted with an ileostomy). If you had these surgeries, you no longer have a rectum, unless your surgeon left the rectum in place (which usually leads to j-pouch failure in the presence of UC). Most all of us only have 1-2cm of rectum left.

Am I missing something?

Jan

I have a J pouch and yes Im  mentally sincitive about from leakage from having sex so I gave it up when I had an ileostomy I used a wast ban to hold it on 

Hi Jan ..thank youfor the reply . What I mean is the "remainder of the Rectum  & Sphincter / Anus ....the lot , including the JPouch . Unfortunately I have no Xray / Scan available to see for myself how much Rectum  remains . I have developed a big problem with fluid building up in the De-Functioned Pouch and having it release randomly with no warning . This is why I need it removed. So I've deciddd to do it as soon as possible . It can't get much worse  !!!

Magoo...thank you all for your help .

Sorry you need to have it all removed.  I know how scary looking forward to that surgery can be.  Hopefully your surgery will be a success in every way.  I am doing much better than I was with mine just disconnected.

I have had just the pouch removed. Leaving me everything you mentioned in place. 

As TE says. 

Much better off. 

Richard.

Thank you Richard ,   removing Just the Pouch was not even suggested . Because the UColitis is still present in the Rectal Stump and Sphincter . I will suggest this to my surgeon on my next visit. Did you have any complications during or after sufgery..?  Just curious ...seems like all went as planned .

Thanks again ...Eamon 

Nope. No complications. That's where my uc was. At the very end and most likely the cause of my pouch failure.. No one knows. Just didn't work and made things worse. 

Although she left it all intact I have had zero problems with what's left. Just some mucous and that's no big deal and expected. I was even thinking if having it all removed but I talked myself out of it. No more surgery.  It's good the way it is. 

Something you may want to discuss. The possibility of leaving that part. You may not be able to. I don't know your situation. Your surgeon can give you the best advice. 

Richard  

Thank you Richard , you've been a big help in making this decision as have all the other wonddrful people on the site .

Slainte...( an Irish thank you ..in Gaelic )

Welcome. 

Hi Guys..&  Ladies...

I have another question regarding removal of my J Pouch.  To disconnect  the other end of the J Pouch from the Stoma  ...was your Stoma reconfigured ?  I have a small Stoma  site Hernia and I thought this could be fixed also if the surgery is " open " Laprotomy  rather than Keyhole surgery. . The Hernia is just a small  bulge beside the Stoma  and Mesh could probably fix it. 

Thank You Ladies and Gents 😎...keep on smilin ..

I was diverted to a permanent ileostomy and then 6 months later had everything removed.  My ileostomy stayed at the same site but she made it stick out a little further.  

My surgeon said the removal surgery had to be done open.  I would guess they could fix your hernia as long as you are opened up.  Might as well get all you can out of being put under.  I also have several hernia belts.  Did anyone ever suggest you wear them?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Thank You Marie....I'm about to make the call to confirm that I want the surgery and that was my last question...for now 😎...My Hernia is probably from a scar just beside my current Stoma because it was relocated once before. The bulge is not obvious but I feel it. So I will ask my Doc to fix with mesh while I'm open .  

   This site was a great help in making my decision ...thank you all.   😁

Your welcome. 

And good health. 

Richard. 

Let us know how things go. Good Luck!

Will do ....Thank You  😎

I have a loooong story with lots of factors but here's the abridged version...

I had a sub-total colectomy in 2011, delayed j-pouch decision until this year. I decided against j-pouch and had proctectomy surgery at the end of May. Previous to that I had my first girlfriend in 15 years and sexual performance was excellent. After surgery not so much. I could get aroused but couldn't maintain an erection and could ejaculate without a full erection.

While it seems logical the problem is related to the surgery I'm not convinced. I've had a few emotion-related ED situations many years ago and my girlfriend and I were going through some difficulties around the time of the proctectomy surgery. I'm working on the ED problem physically (urologist), neurologically (chiropractic neurologist), hormonally (having tests this week) and emotionally (psychotherapy). It's a complicated physiological process and difficult to pinpoint but -- get this -- a single Viagra pill, rather than the 3 to 5 which are prescribed, allows me to achieve an erection.

Thank you Doug .....I hope full function returns for you. My GF  Just visited from Calif for ten days  and it was great.  She wanted to get some use out of me in case my surgery makes him go " Plop " lol I.  have no definite date for the surgery so she might come to Visit again...all the way to Ireland . We've only known each other for a year and sex with the Baggie was just fine ...Great in fact so We both hope he works afterwards !! 

Magoo