Really consider a bidet. Also read up on a sitz bath.
After surgery, you spend a good amount of time waiting for your bowels to start moving in the same direction. Doctors know when this is achieved b/c you will fart. Until then, you feel like the chewing gum girl on "Willie Wonka."
After takedown, my first bowel movement was like crapping burning tar and whiping with fine grained sand paper soaked in diesel fuel.
The plus side, I was using my butt again.
After a day or two, the butt burn fades to be replaced with butt itch.
Butt itch for me was, drop everything right now, and scratch. And it's inside a bit up your anal cavity. I believe this is healing going on after the burning from the previous day or two. After you experience butt itch, you will never again yell at your dog for dragging his butt on the carpet. You will just nod in sympathy.
During this, I had an infection at my incision site and they had to allow my ostomy to heal from the inside out. I took a picture every day until it healed and made a video. If you're curious, I can send you the link.
So, sitz bath, bidet if you happen to be lucky, hand shower wand also works wonders. You'll want Calmoseptine ointment as well. You might only need it for a few days but it's nice to have on hand. Lastly, aloe toilet paper if they still make it.
I used to recommend flushable wipes, but they do not break up on flushing and cause major problems for city sewer systems. I can only imagine what they do to septic tanks. No flushable wipes, even if they say they are flushable. Just nice, soft toilet paper (cheaper too).
The other questions you ask: consistency, frequency, binding are a little tricky to answer.
Consistency right at the beginning of having the J-pouch you will watch closely. Over time (months) your pouch adjusts and consistency becomes more consistent. These days, even if I have watery output 1 or 2 times in a row, I don't even worry about it.
Food frequency will change over time as the pouch matures as well. In the beginning, you'll wonder if it was worth it. After 8 weeks or so, the pouch will adjust. Food will take longer to go through your system, you'll be able to hold it longer, etc.
Binding foods will work almost exactly the same.
Other things? Lots. Your mileage may vary, but my experience has been very good. I eat anything I want, whenever I want. I have no leakage problems or other issues. I am careful with new foods and I try to watch broccoli and beans as they produce copious amounts of gas in me.
Just be prepared for butt burn, butt itch, take it easy and give your body time to learn its new plumbing. . .12-18 months. You'll notice marked improvement in your pouch within the first weeks/months, but for me, full adjustment took about a year.
