Post op living alone

Everyone is different.

You have your age working for you. I am in my sixties when I had a 2 step in 2021. I needed and depended on my wife during the very long recovery.

Being alone is not an ideal situation and I would line up as  many close friends/family  that will be there for you. I had complications from the takedown and had a 3rd emergency surgery and it’s aftermath required someone to assist me.

IMHO, you should not be alone after major surgeries.

I lived alone for both my colectomy and ileostomy and pouch.  Heck, I have ALWAYS lived alone!

My colectomy was an emergency and while recovering in the hospital set up grocery delivery and someone to come in (Nurse next door) every other day for the first week at home.  After that the nurse next door drove me absolutely crazy so I got rid of them and was able to do everything for myself except change linens (too heavy) and groceries.  For those things I relied on friends and the local grocery store delivery service.

My j-pouch was a planned procedure so I knew the date and time.  I stocked up on frozen meals and again relied on the grocery store delivery service for fresh.  Nurse next door provided weekly housekeeping.  Things were not too dirty as I was not moving off the sofa too much.  I did spend 10 days in hospital post-op with an ileus so was moving about very easily by the time I came home.

I had absolutely no problems being on my own.  Good luck to you and I hope you are as happy with your J-pouch as I am with mine (10 years this November).

Medicare or if you have insurance can set you up with homecare services like I did for physical checkups? I live near a farm my entire life and even being diagnosed with slow immunity responsive, with grain dust to mold and its never bothered me or ever had many sensations to know, but allergies and heavy dust makes me sneeze and makes the pouch more than active in so many ways it crazy annoying. emotional health is the feasible and most important factor of staying and keeping healthy especially dealing with this disease. My community being small, I find it really difficult to have family or any close friends to understand to be limited and sadly people online I feel don't are not that condescending for those say "career or salary makers" to not have the burden of severe mental stresses to figure how to make it the reality of life .. it's stupid out there if you want my .01 cent about it! 

Following my J pouch surgery many years ago, I was totally on my own with no support system.  While in the hospital, I received a certified letter saying that I no longer had a job. I struggled for a year before I had anew job.  Somehow, things worked out and I was able to have a good lifestyle.  Hang in there!

@BillV posted:

Following my J pouch surgery many years ago, I was totally on my own with no support system.  While in the hospital, I received a certified letter saying that I no longer had a job. I struggled for a year before I had anew job.  Somehow, things worked out and I was able to have a good lifestyle.  Hang in there!

Wow.  Whoever sent that letter must have felt like a total asshole. 

@liza_s, just wondering how are you going?

Don’t be afraid to ask for help in the first week at home (or whatever time is needed). Ask someone to stay overnight the first night or two, ask others to phone you and check in you, or pick up low residue food. Most people are very happy to help, and if you have a large network to call on, all the better.

Hi all,

thanks for the replies. I’m doing incredibly well! My surgery went smoothly and my hospital stay was uneventful, besides making friendship bracelets for all the nurses and staff on my floor 🥰. Im still with my parents as we need to stay near the hospital for the first two weeks after surgery (my surgery was out of state so we are in an Airbnb). But I will be absolutely fine living alone when I return home in a few days (2 weeks post op).

I’m starting remote work again tomorrow.I’ve been cooking, cleaning, walking, vintage shopping, stretching, out to dinner, etc. I feel better than I did before the surgery (wondering if my diseased rectum was still bothering me despite the ileostomy). The loop is fine too! A little bit of skin irritation as I get used to it but no leaks or major issues.

I feel like an immense weight has been taken off my shoulders having finally gone through with it. I’m planning a big trip out west to hike and camp before my takedown in dec/Jan.

In terms of support system, my friends have been checking in on my apartment and building furniture as it arrives. I have a meal train set up for my first month home which I plan on still receiving since I tend to overdo things and want to offload some cooking/chores in the beginning due to the weight restriction, although I’m must stronger than surgery #1 so it’s easy to lift things more than 10 pounds. I’m barely having any pain and haven’t needed much pain medication since getting out of the hospital aside from the skin irritation.

Congrats on your “easier” recovery.

It’s good to hear positive stories.

best of luck on your next “takedown” surgery.

Liza, I applaud you for your independence in moving out and living alone. Back in 1992, I was the same age when I had my surgery. I didn't move out immediately, and I am glad I didn't only because I had a few weird complications that sent me to the hospital, which you are unlikely to have  (one was a sodium overdose for binging on high sodium foods 30 days after takedown, foolishly thinking it was OK to do so, the other was a blockage from eating too much coupled with post surgical adhesions). Eventually I did move out after going back to work, and I have been on my own for the 30 years since. One of my deep regrets in life was not having moved out from my parents' home sooner than I did. I am a big believer in developing one's own independence as early as one possibly can, as it has benefits later in life.

More important than your relatives being 15-20 minutes  away is your proximity to a hospital for emergency care should you need it. Or at least having a plan in that regard, in the very unlikely event you need it as I did. Those kinds of complications are fluky and unusual, but not totally out of the realm of possibility. I am also a big believer in developing plans for worst case scenarios in life, so if they should happen, you don't have to think about it while in a moment in which you are stressed out to the max. Generally most people do not do their best thinking in those situations.

Good luck.