Please bear with me while I am distracted and absent

Jan DollarModerator, RN, retired

Sorry I have not been around much lately. My step-mom was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and was placed on hospice care about a month ago. She is slowly dieing, and has a very strong heart and will to live. I have been busy helping out daily (we kept her home at her assisted living apartment). In addition, my husband is preparing for a complex trial and is needing my paralegal help. So, I've had a full plate lately. Even returned early from a weekend trip because of the step-mom issue.

So, be patient with me...

Thanks!

Jan

7/24/1212:40 PM

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Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

CTBarristerMember

Good luck with the trial and everything else!

7/24/121:00 PM

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KarbearMember

That is a lot on your plate. Take this time for yourself & your family. You deserve it.

7/24/121:21 PM

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mgmt10Member

Sorry to hear of your step-mom. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well.

7/24/121:53 PM

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chrforMember

Prayers are with you and your family Jan.

7/24/122:21 PM

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tammykathleenMember

Hi Jan,

Don't worry about us-you take the time you need to help your family.

Lots of prayers and well wishes,
Tammy

7/24/122:39 PM

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liz11Member

jan- So sorry to hear about your stepmum. Be sure to also take care of yoruself while your taking care of your family.

7/24/124:52 PM

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skn69Member

So sorry to hear about your step-mom...courage and strength to you.
Sharon

7/24/124:57 PM

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ktaMember

I'm sorry things have been so tough. Hang in there.

7/24/126:37 PM

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Jan DollarModerator, RN, retired

I'm fine. Like the Energizer Bunny! Just busy and I like being lazy when I can, but damn if life keeps throwing gum in the works!

Please though, when my number is up, a big heart attack or something, not this long drawn out, waste away to a skeleton scenario...

Jan

7/24/127:37 PM

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beckysmomMember

Sorry to hear about your stepmom.

7/24/127:41 PM

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TE MarieMember

You are a good step-daughter Jan. I hope she doesn't suffer too long.

7/25/122:51 AM

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n/aMember

Jan - sorry to hear of your stepmom and everything else you got going on there. And I agree with you fully on your "when my number is up" philosophy.

Do what you gotta do, and above all us, take care of yourself!

7/25/127:02 AM

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Tommy pbMember

Sorry to hear about your step mom! Prayers to you and your family! Your wisdom on this site is invaluable! Thanks for all your good advice!

7/26/121:05 AM

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RLCMember

Jan - Sorry to hear about your step-mom! Take care of yourself, too!

Roberta

7/26/129:00 AM

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JudyDMember

sorry to hear the news...take care of yourself as well

7/26/129:31 PM

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HLLMember

I'm sorry about your step-mother. Many prayers for all of you.

7/26/1210:08 PM

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Lizzie KnottMember

You are an amazing support Jan. So sorry about all of the things going on.

7/28/121:22 PM

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SimpleXMember

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

I just wanted to thank you for all your responses, to me and everyone else.

This board is so much better off with you here (and taking breaks is much deserved)

7/29/128:51 PM

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NurseAlexMember

So sorry you're dealing with so much...please know that I am sending positive vibes and many prayers your way. Please take care of yourself...

7/30/1212:11 AM

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CatajaMember

Take care of yourself Jan...best wishes to everyone involved.

7/30/1210:54 AM

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guzzunderMember

So sorry to hear your news, chin up and best wishes
Regards
Bob

7/30/1211:16 AM

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JillyMember

Thinking about you and sending big hugs. It was said before, and bears repeating:
You gotta take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Go get a massage!

Love,
Jillly

7/30/122:10 PM

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Holly MMember

Prayers to you and your family. I took care of my mom who passed away from pancreatic cancer in 1993 then my dad who passed away in 1998 from emphysema. It was tough but I am glad I was with them till the end. End of life care is so important to the patient and the family involved. Good luck.

7/30/126:23 PM

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Jan DollarModerator, RN, retired

Just popping in for a moment. She's still hanging in there, actively dying for two weeks now. We hired a live in caregiver, and it is a good thing too, or my step-sister and I would be completely wrung out. Mom is still coming around and asking for water, which is just prolonging things. The hospice nurses keep saying, "days away," but she's fighting it. Sad to watch, but we are keeping her comfortable...

But, the daily visits, refilling meds for the caregiver, meeting with hospice, etc...wearing us down.

Jan

7/30/127:55 PM

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Randi MMember

So sorry Jan. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong

7/30/128:14 PM

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RLCMember

Stay strong, Jan!

Roberta

8/1/1212:50 PM

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LewMember

Jan

Sorry to hear of your troubles - we've already been through it with my in - laws but my Mom s still hanging in at 94.

The worry and strain of caring for an aging and seriously ill parent can sure burn you out in a hurry. You have my sympathy.

I'm with you on the take me quick ( don't want to go sitting' on the John!)

Lew

8/1/123:17 PM

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TE MarieMember

I'm glad you have a sibling to help with all of this. It really takes it's emotional toll.

8/1/123:46 PM

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Joannab70Member

Best wishes to you and your family. I know taking care of a family member can be stressful. All the best to you. Take care of yourself.

8/4/127:23 AM

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Jan DollarModerator, RN, retired

Just checking in again. My step-mom died last week, so we've been busy with the arrangements and trying to sort through some of her stuff. Hubby is still in trial too, so bit of a pressure cooker here.

Hopefully, things will settle down by the end of the month.

Wish me luck, and thanks again for everyone's kind words and support.

Jan

8/13/1212:15 PM

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CTBarristerMember

Wow, to be on trial and have a death in the family really stinks. Best wishes getting through this difficult time.

8/13/121:14 PM

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KarbearMember

Sending my condolences to you and your family Jan.

8/13/121:41 PM

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TE MarieMember

I am sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself during this stressful time and God bless you and your family.

8/13/122:00 PM

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JudyDMember

so sorry for your loss...hoping that the support of your friends and family AND this group, will help you through this difficult time

8/14/1212:29 AM

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n/aMember

Jan, so sorry for your loss.

8/14/127:01 AM

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ChuckusMember

Jan - sorry for the loss, condolences to you and yours.

8/15/129:17 AM

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beckysmomMember

Jan,
just read your post, I was signing on to pm you and see how things were going.
So sorry to hear of your loss.
My prayers are with you and your family.

8/24/129:16 PM

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Lynne2Member

We are sorry to hear of your loss and the additional stress of the trial. You are surely being a rock of stability to your husband during this trying time, just like you have been for so many of us in the past. Please take some time for yourself, too. You deserve it.

8/24/1211:54 PM

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Jan DollarModerator, RN, retired

Thanks everyone! As many of you know, the real work begins after the death of a loved one, as nothing can happen while you await the inevitable. So, the viewing, memorial, an interment are over, and we now move forward to emptying the apartment and settle her estate.

But, tomorrow I relax. We are headed to San Francisco for a stay on Nob Hill and dinner at the kitchy Tonga Room. Celebrating our 36th anniversary. Should be fun.

Jan

8/25/122:41 AM

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