Hi Shelly,

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately, after having major abdominal surgery, there can be internal scarring which could lead to painful intercourse. However, if you have not yet had a gyno exam, you should go for one, as there are many reasons for this problem, many of which can be very simply treated.

You should check out the Women's Health and Pregnancy forum on this site; I believe there is plenty of information on this topic there.

Good luck!

Sex is horribly painful for me. I was a 3 times a day kind of girl now I hope my husband is never in the mood! I told this to my internist and she recommended I go to a Gyno to get dialated. Everything feels close off inside me. I had a yeast infection and I couldn't even get that small tube in me to inject the cream. So glad I don't get a period, a tampon would be a nightmare.

I have the same issue. KY is helpful.

Shelly,
Post op is full of unusual surprises and rocky roads with unexpected bumps...the whole nether region is shifted and shunted and twisted during surgery...plus the added joy of localised swelling that makes things more tender and complicated and tight...pre-sex anti-inflamatories help...something like an advil or muscle relaxant to start off, a Glass of wine to put yourself in the mood and relax you never hurts either and then all sorts of lubricants...
I can never, ever say it enough...Sex is supposed to be fun and not painful, fearful and dreadful so set some pre-sex rules to start with...like no penetration in the begining...just fun and games. Keep the whole thing light and easy so that there is no possible stress involved. Re-learn the pleasure as if you were an exicited teen with 'limits'. If penetration is off of the menu then you won't feel so worried about it.
Master that first before you even begin to imagine full sex.
You are going to be 'tight' for a while possibly longer...it has been a couple dozen years for me and I am still tight (not such a bad thing past 50!)but it is managable and 'warm-ups' go a long way to making things work.
Just please, do not forget that this is supposed to be 'fun' so prepare to laugh at yourself and allow your partner to laugh with you, not at you.
Sharon

Same thing here, lots of scar tissue. My GYN could actually feel it. She described it as almost a shelf that was not letting her push the females organs down and she felt the narrowing spot that kills me.

Hi it's been a very long time since I have been on here but my issue is also painful inner course. First is I feel as if I constantly have a yeast infection it's always itchy and have a burning sensation. I have done several at home treatments and for a couple days it feels ok then back so the same feeling. Then during sex it feels as if my spouse is hitting some kind of wall and it's very tight and burning really bad, does anyone else experience these problems? And what did you do to treat or help the issue it's really affecting my sex life with my husband and I feel so terrible about it, even thinking is this j pouch really worth having I never ever had any of these problems with my ostomy. It's been a year and ahalf since I had the surgery done and I am still on TPN, don't have the energy I used to have, and still not back to work yet! It's all very frustrating to me my main concern is innercourse with my hubby,maintaining my weight when pic line is removed, stil have a lot of foods that do not agree with me, last being on Opium Tincture to slow down my bowels ( was told I wouldn't be on meds forever and here I am still on them) anyone else experience this too? I would appreciate anyone's input I am really getting fed up with this thing and need some input! Thank you LJK

Hello ljk. I'll share my experience with this in the event it's helpful. Following surgery I found that intercourse was too painful even after a number of months and plenty of lubricant. It seems it wasn't really pouch related but rather vaginal thinning likely as a result of age, menopause and history of steroid use. I find using estrogen tabs which are inserted vaginally have 'cured' the issue. Very little estrogen is absorbed systemically so its not like taking hormones. Maybe this is something to discuss with your doctor?

Ljk,
I just had pouch reattachement surgery (I have a k pouch so it is supposed to be attached to the abdominal wall) for my pouch...it was 'down'...meaning fell completely off of the wall and was sitting on my organs below.
One of the unfortunate side effects of this problem was that it felt as if my VG was shut. Nothing could go in without pain and serious difficulty...I didn't even realise that it was related (you sort of don't think about it in those moments) until post op when I felt the difference.
Could there be an decending of your organs? A pouch collapse? Just a thought...although we haven't yet attemted anything since surgery the uncomfortable pain/pressure down there is gone so maybe the 'shut door' is now open.
Sharon

Ljk, I don't know how old you are, assuming you are now postmenopausal I agree with JHindrix. I use a vaginal cream called Estrace. Plus KY helps as well.

It's hard to get in the mood when you are in abdominal pain of any kind. The last thing you feel like doing making love.

Same here. It feels like there's a lump on the right side about half way up. It's excrutiating. I feel so badly for my husband. It's hard to think about the next 30 years with no "regular" sex. Tried almost everything creams, pills, even HRT to no avail. Is there a surgical procedure to correct it?

One sort of needs to know what the lump is in order to fix it...cyst? Abscess? Something else? They really have to find out what is going on and why the pain???
We know 2 things...it shouldn't hurt and shouldn't be uncomfortable...So if it is you need a good GYN to check it out.
Sharon