One thing that is needed to learn with a j pouch, is to try anything and everything to see what works. Just dont sit and strain. Try something different. I noticed that after taking a long hot shower, the muscles "down there" are more relaxed, and it is much easier to eliminate. If you have a hand wand, you can stand in the tub, and spray hot water, and eliminate right there. I know people may get squeamish doing such things in the tub, but what is important is getting relief and feeling better. Sometimes laying down in the tub helps because it takes pressure of the bottom end and opens things up. Sometimes i use a disposable enema bottle to squirt water up in the pouch, and this helps elimination. But most of all i keep a medena cather handy, and use it eliminate. Even when there are times i can eliminate quite a bit without using a catheter, by using it I can go more, and empty better, so i dont have the need to be back in the bathroom so soon. This is especially helpful at night time so i can get better sleep. I now take a catheter with me wherever i travel. They are about 12" long when new, cut off 6", then it is easy to use or carry with if so desired. I also carry one of the lip balm tubes to use for lubricating the tip before insertion. Insert slowly, and gently, and also rotate the catheter once inserted to help when "stuff" gets stuck in the holes. Dont be afraid to experiment with what may work for you. One time when i was really having problems going, I put a whole bunch of pillows on the bed, surrounding a bedpan, so i could comfortably lay flat with my butt over the bedpan, and go that way. That way i could get some rest, and it also helped me relax and eventually things would start moving.

Thanks for the advice, I will use some of your tricks and see if it helps. I have been reading about catheters and j pouches and like the idea of them. I'm going to talk to my doctor first. I'm worried about the safety of them and if just certain people should get it or its safe for everyone. Did you take it upon yourself to get one? Also I'm wondering about when my skin will "toughen up" because I'm really dreading BM's right now due to the burning and uncomfortableness I feel afterwards. I'm using butt creams right now and they provide some relief but its burning all the time and all I want to do is sit as walking makes it worse

My surgeon was the one who initially gave me a catheter, because after about 4 weeks from the initial surgery, i was so blocked up and miserable. I couldnt get enough out to get much relief. The catheter was a godsend to me. There is no real danger in using a catheter as long as you use lubricant, insert gently, and only go as deep as needed. With you having some burning down there, then using the catheter may irritate things. I try not to overuse the catheter because it does irritate things from constant insertion and removal. The first thing i would try if i were you, would be to lie in the bathtub, insert the entire contents of one of those disposable enema bottles, try holding it for a little while, then when you feel like eliminating, try pushing things out. I wash them out, and reuse those enema bottles and always keep one by the toilet. You might try filling one with warm water, as that should help relax the muscles also. I think my main problem has always been that the sphincter muscles do not relax enough to let much stool come out. As you recover from surgery, and muscle tone improves, i bet that is happening to you also. Plus sitting upright on the toilet tends to collapse things and help block off the exit. That is why laying down helps sometimes with elimination.