I am so very sorry about your Moms diagnosis. I am BC survivor. I went through surgery, chemo, radiation, and oral med's for 5 years (Sept. 7 was five years!!). I promise you that you don't have to be with her physically to provide support. As cliche' as it sounds, I continually say that love is what got me through my journey. Some of that love came from people who couldn't be with my physically. The day to day things will be covered, and when you're with her you can help out --however, the best moral support for me were the 'cancer free' times/conversations. Whether it was a phone call, visit, chat on FB, etc., it didn't matter. There was a time when I realized that I wasn't hearing about anyones problems. I HATED THAT! I let my family and best friends know that the greatest gift they could give me was to stop trying to protect me by excluding me from their daily lives. Of course, they wanted to spare me any/all negativity but I wanted...
needed to hear normalcy and of course that included problems; sh*thead husbands, kids, bills, dating, neighborhood gossip, my daughter/son's issues with friends, teachers, love lives, etc. After I let them know, it changed and I cherished every one of those conversations. It also put them all at ease. Cancer takes over your life and all those who love you when you're fighting the beast. Cancer free time is essential and so cathartic for all. As I said, Kia -- you will be doing her a favor by continuing to be her daughter during this process. Don't leave anything out that you wouldn't normally. That can so easily be done in a daily phone call. If she is like me, she would feel horribly guilty if she knew her little girl (no matter how old you are) was continually putting herself out because of her cancer. Living your life and loving her to the best of your ability during this time is what she wants --I promise. She is in for the fight of her life and there is no reason to believe she isn't going to come out on the other side, better than before. I did.
Good luck, honey and please keep us posted. If you ever want to speak privately -- just send me a PM.
Huge, gentle hugs!
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