Looks like I will have surgery - advice

I wish I had an answer regarding the financial end of this process but I don't. I'm assuming you have insurance? That should take care of a lot of the money stress.

Maybe while you're at home mending your wife could get a temporary job if you're well enough to take care of the angel daughter.

Yeah, this surgery does take a hit on the wallet but your health is the important thing. And things WILL get better financially.

Good luck. Please let us know how things are going.

kathy

CBJ,
Like Kathy, I have no advice on the financials but on the personal end of this I can tell you that the worst thing that you can do to your family is to hide things...feelings, emotions, fear and pain....they need to take this ride with you. Your daughter needs to know that she is part of the process and that she can help daddy...little things can make a big difference in her life. This is going to be very scary and unstabalising for her being that she is 7 and you are still the big hero in her life...seeing you sick, weak and in pain is going to shake her up (your wife too) and feeling like she is helping to make things better makes a big difference.
Without exposing too much of the medical aspects to her (she does not need to see the scars but she may wish to)...let her help you and you will be helping her.
Your wife will need to know that there is an end to the tunnel and that this is a process that will end in good health and won't be a forever thing...we all need hope to make it through the day.
And for yourself? You need to know that this takes time. It will not be a magic thing like tonsils where today you are sick and tomorrow you are well...it will be baby steps to a better, healthier life but you may go through some trying times until it is all well.
Be kind and patient with yourself, your loved ones and medical staff...and let nature take its course.
Good luck
Sharon

Hi to a fellow Ohioan. I had my surgery at Kettering in 2008. My kids at the time were 5,10,and 12. I was open with my kids and answered their questions. I figured they had lived with me during my illness and would be living with me through the surgeries. I knew my kids would be scared that I was going to have the surgeries and be in the hospital but that they would worry less if they could ask me questions. Once their questions were answered, they were ok. After the first surgery, I was able to eat so many more foods that they LOVED bringing food to me to eat. And they would ask to see my ileostomy, and I became their greatest science experiment ever!! We actually laughed alot about it. Kids are pretty accepting and, face it, they've seen us struggle with the UC. Where are you having your surgery?

thank you very much for the great advise. Its obviously a scary endeavor but I do have a great support system.

Make sure to use the support you have. This is a tough surgery and you have to give your body time to heal. Financially, my family took a major hit because I carry the health insurance for all of us...I had to have 4 surgeries over 12 months and my employer cancelled my insurance on each of my final 3 medical leaves. I had to do COBRA which is EXPENSIVE! I have 2 girls who were 5 and 1 when I had the surgery. Thankfully my parents live nearby and are amazingly generous people so my mom spent almost every day with me while my husband continued to work.

My main advice to you is to put one foot in front of the other and use the resources you have. You'll get through it and you and your family will be better off for it in the end. Good luck.

I too have a seven year old and had two surgeries recently. She is a smart kid, so we were honest with her and to,d her I was having surgery. We gave her general details - she knew I had a bag. As far as she was concerned, she was excited that Daddy was home from work for 6 weeks for each surgery. You may want to talk with your pediatrician to get advice on how and how much to share. Ours was very helpful.

As for your wife, just be sensitive and use air spray.

Make sure you warn your daughter how you will look. My daughter was 12 when I had my surgeries and she burst into tears when she saw me. I looked so bad and had oxygen hooked up and a bunch of drains.

Where will you be having your surgery?

I wish you good luck and I hope you have as good of results as I have had.