I tried at a month and wasnt quite unswollen so I waited 6 weeks. You'll be tender and it's kinda a new sensation. I had my rectum removed so I don't get as wet as I use to so I use lube now.I'm afraid to hurt things too so I'm sure it doesnt help get things flowing there too. Everyone is different it's going to be a hit or miss on when you're ready. good luck.

Hi Smn616,
I can't remember exactally how long we waited after my takedown but it would have been around 4-6wks. I too didn't have a high drive,with all the surgeries plus having a baby,it was the last thing on my mind. It did hurt and feel uncomfortable(pressure on pouch,feeling like stuff was going to come out even if i'd just been to the loo). But we were advised to try doing it in a different position to take pressure off the pouch. I don't want to sound crude but him enetering from behind(doggystyle)really helped. It was pretty much the only position i could tolerate and enjoy for close to a year thats how long it took me to adjust and for it all to heal and feel normal again. Now it's all good,i still occasionally get a pressure feeling on the pouch with different angles but ya get that.
I just wouldn't try too soon and try to relax about it all. Your desire may take awhile to pick up after all your body has been through but try not to stress over it. My drive took close to a year also to return to normalish. But my husband was very understanding but at times would get very frustrated too. It's sometimes hard for them to fully understand what we've been through.
Good luck with it all

I agree with the sex positions sometimes that's a starter position to move on to
Others. Or sometimes the only one give yourself time my husband and did
And hopefully yours will too

My husband was amazing through it all! I had very low libido for a good 4 years while I was in the throws of UC. My experience after surgery was not typical and I was seriously ill for a good 9 months afterwards. I had perforations in my pouch and my ostomy and I was septic many times and had tons of infections. I spend 9 weeks in the hospital and could barely function for another 9 weeks and i had a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I had tons of help!! I had a drain tube in my abdomen for 9 months after surgery because that's how long it took the pouch perforation to heal so it was a good 10 months before we tried. It's nerve racking because it's new and there is a little embarrassment involved when you have an ostomy but my husband was very understanding and always claimed it didn't bother him. I think you just have to get back on the saddle and with time you will be more comfortable! I will say there was a lot less nerves after I got rid of the ostomy! I can also agree with the positions too. Missionary style definitely puts more pressure on the pouch. From behind is the most comfortable!

Smn,
In French we say that your apetite arrives once you start eating and it is so true...sometimes you just have to go through the motions for your body to start to remember pleasure. I usually suggest 6 weeks because that is when you really start your healing process and begin to unswell although it take a good year for things to settle into place definitively.
Some people have pain, others feel over-tight and some feel just fine. No rules. Lube helps with the tightness and you might want to try some of the new funky ones that give heat or other sensations to distract you a bit from the tightness.
Positions help and that should be the fun part...swithching around to see which ones work the best...make it a game and test a few each time...it will change as time goes by and your organs unswell and settle into their permanent places.
You can kick up your libido with exercise....take long walk (no jogging yet, too soon), yoga etc that allows your body to relax and the blood to circulate faster.
I always suggest a good bottle of wine, some nice music and a great sense of humour. It may take a while for things to go back to normal so be prepared for false starts, unususal sensations, a bit of discomfort and panic...everything in there has shifted and let's face it...your pouch is brand new and is going to send out messages to you so empty it well beforehand and if needed take a mild muscle relaxant.
And have fun!!!!!!!
Sharon

I agree with Sharon, relax as much as possible and use lube! Lube really makes things easier and takes the pressure off.

It is normal to feel a bit anxious and hesitant regarding your new plumbing. Don't over think it (which I definitely did). Take your time, focus and do what comes naturally!

Probably week 6 or so. After the follow up visit with my surgeon when he said I was cleared to do whatever activity I wanted.
Of course, like many other ladies, my libido has been low to non-existent. Sex is still a painful (it feels SO tight!) and while, erm, 69ing I am so afraid I am going to leak on my guy's face that I cannot relax, even though I don't really have issues with control. So, that doesn't help, but...I love my guy and I remember something about how wonderful sex was like before surgery (Well, maybe not so much during those really bad UC flares...).
Go slow and relax and give it time! Your body has been through some major changes. Good luck and have fun! Sex is supposed to be fun, right? :-)

Ps...creativity is the mother of success (am I mixing metaphors here?)...try sex in the shower or tub, standing up if you can to relieve the pressure on your abdomen or sitting in a rocking chair with you on top...I had to prepare for sex for quite a while by eating light meals and avoiding certain foods for a few days pre-sex (those horrible gas forming foods and anything that was trouble-causing)...the lighter that you feel the easier it will be.
Sharon

It was probably about 6 wks after take-down. The first time we tried, we used the "Gentle Warming Lube" - it has been always a favorite. OMG, it burned SO bad, I jumped out of bed and into the shower before my husband even knew what was happening.

Lesson learned: Butt burn and warming lube do NOT go together.

As far as libido, it's still pretty low, but that's probably due to being on birth control, that always kills it for me. I was still nursing when I got UC, so we had barely resumed sex (vag delivery with 3rd degree espiomtomy). Sex wasn't even an option until about 2 mons after Step 1. By then, my husband could care less about the bag, he just wanted some lovin'.

Before any radiology, I had sign a form about pregnancy and birth control. It always bothered me there was no option for abstinence/I'm to sick to have sex.

Sharon