Since my original single-stage operation in May, subsequent loop ileostomy due to sepsis and final take down in August I have been positive and had no regrets. After 33 years of UC and the last few years of related sacro-ileitis which left me hardly able to move, the removal of my colon and rectum was so liberating with the awful pain and stiffness had gone. The fact that my quality of life had improved so much made me very accepting and delighted with my new J-Pouch, with all it's unpleasant aspects.

Whilst it is great that my memory has faded and dulled the very unpleasant 2 months I spent in hospital, I am also, for the first time, starting to feel sorry for myself and like I have hit a brick wall. I have been fighting and staying positive for so long, I just have reached the bottom of my reserves, which I am sure is not uncommon.

My pouch adaption and improvement seem to have plateauxed and because I am having partial obstructions, I feel I am going backwards.

I am certain is because I am forgetting just how bad my situation was pre-surgery. I really wish I had kept a diary or written down how bad things were for me then. I know I am definately far better off now, but would be good to be able to remind myself now and then.

So just a suggestion for anyone considering surgery, perhaps keep a record beforehand which may be good to look back on later.