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does anyone have any tips on controlling leakage during sex? I have minimal leakage at random times and during sex i have had some very close calls and one time small accident. Someone had suggested shoving a cotton ball inside your hole but i havent tried that yet in fear it might get stuck or the fibers may absorb into tissue and cause more issues down the road... anyone have any tips? going to bathroom right before doesnt seem to help.

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More Kegals... Using something to thicken your bm might help as well, although timing specifically for sex mightbe an issue. I wouldn't suggest putting any "plug" to stop this unless you talk to a Dr about it first, last thing you need is another issue. You may even find having a fuller pouch helpful, so you are purposely holding the bm.

Good luck

I have tried the cotton ball approach and there is never any fiber that gets stuck, strangely enough. I was really dubious at first.  And you really don't shove it up there...you tuck it right inside the anal opening and it's super easy to remove.  Depending on positioning and what you're doing during sex, though, it might fall out.  I doubt it would absorb much, so if you're having a lot of leakage, ingesting psyllium before your pre-sex meal might help. 

so maybe insert it enough into the hole so it locks it in place? i drink psyllium fiber powder in water every morning but i still get some very minor leakage at random times regardless of my diet.. I think there may have been some nerve damage during my redo as Remzi stated it was a very long and complicated surgery and he really pushed the limits with me.

Ugh, the nerve damage.  I feel like I have also experienced that, though it doesn't seem to impair muscle function so far.  I would try the cotton ball to see what happens.  Someone described it as "tucking", which is exactly what it feels like: you kind of spread everything out, lightly tuck, and then the cotton just sits right at the edge of the anal opening-same procedure to remove.  I was surprised it stayed in place during regular activities.  I only use a half a cotton ball; I am pretty small.  The person who told me about it said it helps with butt burn, absorbing the tiny bit of seepage that you wouldn't normally notice.  I also thought that it would be uncomfortable, but I forgot about it almost immediately.  I think my anus has lost some sensation, though, because when I use the bidet, it seems to be able to tolerate a much stronger spray than my other nether parts, so I tend to spray it too hard (so I can feel it's getting clean) and probably have a tendency irritate hemorrhoids and such, which is what I'm trying to avoid with the bidet!  I have to be mindful to not spray too hard. 

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