You are getting close to that one year mark when this nocturnal incontinence should be improving. I would suggest you look into anal manometry testing to see if you have permanent sphincter weakness/nerve damage. The fact that you are continent during the day is a good sign, but those sphincters naturally relax during sleep (for those with a rectum is to allow gas to escape during sleep).
Look at the meds you are taking and see if there is anything that might be deepening your sleep. I would think in this case, it is better to be a light sleeper and wake up when you feel urges. It's been 18 years for me, and I always do. But, I still get a good solid sleep because I just use the nightlight and try not to spend too much time in there. I am lucky (sort of?!) that I have a cat that wants out around 2-4 a.m. and I always empty when I am up for him. Maybe you should get a restless cat!
Jan