Even though my scope looked mainly good except for the one small ulcer. The one thing I hate is I never want intercorse caused of the butt pain I have a lot. At least when I had the bag I didn't have the pain, so my husband was happier. I don't know what to do. He is understanding but I miss not saying no so much. I have so much to think about. Anyone else have a similar problem?
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Have you tried different positions to change the angle of force and pressure? Of course, lots of fore play and gentleness helps too (and don't forget the lube)!
Jan 
I know how you feel. I explained it to my husband a long time ago that when in j-pouch pain the last thing I feel like doing is putting anything in my vagina. Jan is right about the different angles and it might be better if you were on-top or driving, for a while.
Good Luck
Hi Halo,
First off, I am so sorry...this is adding insult to injury...the one thing that we should be able to finally enjoy without stress or pain and it becomes both stressful and painful instead of pleasureable...not fair.
I have a k pouch (same pouch just hooked onto the abdomen with a stoma exit and a catheter for intubation and removal of gas and matter)...but a pouch is a pouch.
I had a full proctorcolectomy with the bottom end closed off...35+yrs ago.
Whenever you have people inside of you playing with your anatomy things are going to get moved around, pushed and shoved, swollen, tangled up in adhesions etc...
The one rule that I have learned through all of my pouch surgeries is that there is no normal and what works for me today may not work tomorrow. You need to be gentle, creative, relaxed and communicate a lot.
Trying different positions as Jan said is the number 1 go-to place to start.
Using different types of lube helps too...you need to make this a fun experience again and maybe avoid full blown intercourse for a short time and stick to the "other stuff"...yoga may help you to reposition your innards and deep breathing is fantastic.
Taking things very slowly (with an emergency help word so that you do not have to say "stop you are hurting me" and break the mood) is not only fun but can help you to unstress and loosen up.
Pretend that you are still dating, getting to know each other and not ready to "go all the way" is another game that you might wish to play to remove the panic of starting somethiing that you will not be able to finish...
Just a thought
sharon
Thank you guys. My husband now understands that there is days if there is too much butt pain he has to wait. Found doggy style less painful. Sometimes it's psychologIcal and he finds massaging my entire body helps relax me. You guys are so great hear. Thank you