Becky,
You have gotten great responses from some of the best contributors this forum has to offer. This is a scary place to go for answers because most of us come here with problems. Most people with ileostomies and pouches feel great and are out leading their relatively normal lives (like my friend and her grandfather) and are not stuck at home or in doctor's offices and bathrooms (like me.)
I would advise you to get the best doc you can find with whom you are comfortable and who does the most of your operation in your area. Hopefully, they will also operate out a hospital that is experienced with your operation and also has a high success rate. If you decide to go out of your area to get this experience, do so only if necessary and know that doing so introduces it's own complications.
Statistically speaking, most patients do well with their j pouch. It is difficult to cite hard numbers as there are very different definitions of success with this surgery. Those who don't do as well with a J Pouch often find out they have undiagnosed Crohn's, or experience complications during the initial removal surgery, or have other serious health problems. So to improve your odds... work with your doc to ensure you have been properly diagnosed, try to have your total colectomy as an elective/scheduled surgery, get good follow-up care, and consider your options carefully if you have other health problems.
I had to have an emergency total colectomy, experienced post-surgical complications, then problems with my ileostomy, followed by blockages and more surgeries, and then had nothing but problems with my j pouch. Not a great example, but not too bad either -- my success story is that 5 years out I am still alive and able to see my husband and sons every day. Make your decision with your doctor based on your health and your situation and know that there is no "right choice." I hope that you come to realize that is more freeing than it sounds initially.
God bless,
Jennifer