Hello all,
My boyfriend was diagnosed with UC after a couple of years of ill health and after we'd been together a couple of years -although he managed to hide his illness from me until he was admitted for the first time to hospital for IV steroid treatment.
He had his colon removed after various treatments in 2011, and was given an ileostomy, which he hated. A J-Pouch was fashioned about 8 months later and he was given a loop ileostomy. A few months later, they did the take down operation.
For the first 18 months he seemed not to have any problems with the pouch, other than trying to get used to it. Then a year ago he started getting recurrent pouchitis, for which he's prescribed heavy duty anti-biotics, which completely wipe him out for the duration of the course (usually a month).
Although he's doing a PhD so can work from home, he's barely getting anything done. Also, he's suffering from depression but can't handle the side effects of the anti-depressants he was on, so stopped.
All of this is putting a massive strain on our relationship. I've been there however I can for him (as much as he lets me): trying to be continually cheerful, cooking good food, trying to get him to talk, helping with his work.
But I don't know how much more I can take. We never do anything outside of the house and his habitual outfit is pyjamas. I've got him to agree to seek some counselling but I feel like I'm forcing it on him. And he's asked me if he should go back to having an ileostomy because although he was more depressed than I've ever seen him, at least there was less concern about needing to be near a toilet and the symptoms of living with pouchitis. We're in our late 20s and I worry that this is going to be our life.
I'm not really sure what advise I'm looking for but any would be welcome, before I leave him.
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