Hi Hazel,
Not sure of your age or your medical situation but I do know hernias, at least abdominal ones...I never had any prior to my mid 40's then they just kept coming, it didn't matter what I did or didn't do...I got one by doing deep breathing yoga exercises suggested by my surgeon!
Sometimes as we get older, our muscle mass and tissue get thinner (blame menopause) and thus tear easily.
I've got a K pouch (abdominal continent pouch) so my first hernias (peristomal) compromised the function of my pouch and stoma.
I've had almost all of them fixed via laparoscopy. No choice, when you open me up, I do not heal correctly or quickly so that was my option...mesh repair is quick and relatively easy. The only thing that I am sure of with hernias is that they can get bigger and cause problems.
I personally prefer to fix them while they are manageable and not wait until they are too large.
If you are unhappy with your surgeon's decision, go see someone else, preferably a laparoscopic surgeon who can get it done without too much downtime.
Sharon