TLDR:
I went through Shen's needle knife op, but feel like it gave me a big pouchitis flare. My pouch is a mess and I'm not sure how to get my health back.
Hey all,
It's going on 15 months since takedown. Pretty much none of that time has met my expectations for the jpouch and some of it has been suffering a lot. I had a scope 10 months ago, all they found was mild pouchitis.
5 months ago I was in the ER. They did a CT there.
Given my continuing symptoms, I went to Shen. He looked at that CT, and where no one else had found it, he found a sinus. He confirmed it on MRI and did a pouchoscopy w/ needle knife op.
I can tell that the pouchitis is overall worse. There are now two large ulcers between my ileo site anastamosis and my pouch. I asked them, distraught after the procedure, if this meant Crohn's. Interestingly they said no, and that they think I suffer from ischemia (I don't know what to believe anymore). He said that 70% of ischemic pouchitis patients are male, and he thinks this could be an issue for me (I don't know for sure).
There are quite a number of staples coming out, one of which he yanked. When I saw one of those staples and also felt things were getting to painful for me to bear, I asked them to sedate me, at which point my knowledge of the procedure comes from the video.
He performed a needle knife op on a "hidden" sinus that through much effort me was able to find along the pouch suture line (looks fairly distal to me, around the midline of the pouch). Goodness, he cut the crap out of that.
They expected me to not have pain apparently, not telling me to expect any, nor giving me any pain meds. About 7 hrs after, when the sedation wore off, the pain quickly reached absolutely insane levels. I was biting a rag and screaming just to keep my sanity. Double percocet which I happened (!) to have with me kept me from the ER. I vomited my dinner shortly after and tried to get some sleep. Amazingly, they still would not write me pain meds, and seemed to not internalize that I was suffering horribly. I saw a fellow the next day, who on seeing my pain only THEN said maybe I should go to the ER, now that it was 2 hrs before my flight home and the Shen team was leaving. I said no thank you, and managed to get home.
Currently super weak, can only manage to eat Ensure Plus, and grunting through the pain. I am way worse than I was when I came to the pouchoscopy. I feel like my pouchitis is at near UC levels. I've started cipro/flagyl, and when I feel like my pouch has recovered from the op, I will finally accept getting on Budesonide.
______________________________________VENTING
Emotionally, while I'm strong, deep down it hurts. I'm coming on my 23rd birthday. My friends' 21 birthdays were a night of drinking and fun. Mine was spent alone, trying to survive the blood loss. I have become highly antisocial, as it just hurts too much to explain to anyone why I am still at home, haven't decided my relationship status, why I'm doing little with my life when I am supposed to be a promising young man. In my dark moments, I wonder if it wouldn't have been much simpler and prettier if I had just bled out from UC instead of living this desolation.
The jpouch was supposed to be my second chance at life. It has instead been IBD's second chance at reducing my life to a sad, painful standstill. I asked Shen about ripping it out and going to a stoma, without all these insane issues, but he says that it may not be a problem free existence either. Basically, I discarded my one chance at a happy ending a year and a half ago when I let my surgeon assuage my suspicions regarding the jpouch and didn't ask for a permanent ostomy.
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Thank you for suffering through the venting at the end. That said, does anyone have any ideas on how to proceed?