Embarrassing stories

Serves her right, if there was something left in the toilet, for making fun of her cousin!

You have the right idea - look for the humor in it all.  Better to laugh about the wipes and cream than be embarrassed.

One of my worst was back in UC days.  I was on a highway in the middle of nowhere and all of a sudden had to find a bathroom.  Finally there was a sign that a small town was a few miles away.  I had to go so bad I was crying.  I ran into a small gas station/convenience store and the one single stool bathroom was available.  I had an accident on the way in and had to clean up with  single ply toilet paper and water.  I did the best I could, removed and rinsed my underwear in the toilet and buried it down in the trash, and left.  There was a line of 3 men waiting to use the restroom.  I bought a water and left.  I got some clean underwear and jeans out of my suitcase and headed for the next town and another convenience store.  By then I had to go again and this time I made it without an accident. I successfully changed clothes in their restroom.  Thank God they had soap! 

You made it to a bathroom? 

Lol. 

Making light of bad situations. 

While driving I just went I had to go so bad I thought I would burst something if I held it.  More than once. 

At that time I thought how much easier a bag would be. I was right.  Another lol. 

It wasn't embarrassing. No one was around.  Still had to drive another 15 miles to get home though.  I've had situations around people at work mainly. But. It was what it was.  After years of some of those things happening some of the guys(at least two) have come up to me now that they are older with bowel problems and can relate. I would wish this on no one. But others shouldn't embarrass others because you never know. They may come up with similar problems.  Changes happen all the time.

Richard. 

I do my best to go bathrooms alone.  The days of going in with girls is over for me.  It's always noisy, lol u know what I mean.  I don't even want to go overnight with friends and family because of this.  I need my own bathroom and that isn't always feasible.  I know this holds me back from vacations and many long day trips.  I can time how long after eating that I will need the bathroom.  So if I go out 2-4 hrs is good.  Evening's are my worst times. 

 This is going to sound crazy but my sister is coming from Fla and always stays with me.  I don't have extra bed in my 2nd bedroom but I have a sofa bed in living room.  I rearranged the furniture and now the sofa is directly in line of bathroom.  I am fretting about this because my house is small and u can hear everything. Not just bowel noises but my pain sighing when I have'd a bad day.   My husband who is passed use to say to me let it out what is my problem.  He didn't care, I do and always feel embarrassed.  

Thinking of rearranging my sofa it's just hard on me to move it.  I already moved once and had help but it's not where I wanted it.  Just saying.

18th birthday...the day that the specialist prescribed morning enemas...I have a kink in my colon. The water goes up but doesn't come out .

My mom  prepared a surprise dinner in a swanky downtown restaurant.  Japanese ...we went upstairs to a private room with silk cushions on the floor and a low table. They brought in the cake, my guts let go all over me and the cushions dripping all over the floor. I evacuated everyone out...spent an hour locked in the washroom washing out my knit suit... cried all night in misery.

I had my 2nd muscle flap done 1 month later and my k pouch 6 months after that.

I still cannot laugh over that one...I barely survived it emotionally.

I'm sure we've all had stories that are funny to someone else. Even to us, but not at the time. Lol  I'm an avid crappie fisherman so you can imagine the tights I've gotten into while in a boat, in the middle of a large lake. From hanging my butt over the side of the boat to sitting on a five gallon bucket. Last spring a buddy and I were fishing Grenada Lake in central MS. It was around 5 miles of water between us and the nearest landing with a restroom. So I opted for the bucket. I hadn't thought about the fact that my bucket had spent countless hours in the sun and the plastic had deteriorated. I bet ya'll can see where this story is headed. As the bottom of the bucket filled, it totally collapsed with me, covering my butt and some of the boat with crap. It turned out to be a great day to go skinny dipping. My fishing buddy is still laughing about that day. 

ScottV, you just went fishing for the wrong kind of crappie that day. 

Oh dear- the story about th birthday restaurant- so sorry. Yea, that’s gotta still be a little painful. The fishing one! Gotta do what you gotta do buddy! Well, here’s to all of that (hopefully behind us- pun intended). 

As for being loud when going, I agree. I prefer my own restroom. I usually can find a handicap or gender- neutral restroom on campus where I work, thankfully. I am loud with gas at night. I do get embarrassed going out and/or being a guest at someone’s house. Next weekend we go camping- we’ll see how that goes. The weeken after we go to my in laws. Their bathroom is flanked by the guest room and their master bedroom. Not looking forward to that one either. Maybe I will not eat all weekend lo.l.

ScottV posted:

I'm an avid crappie fisherman 

On the subject of this thread there were MANY times, especially while fishing at a remote reservoir located around 1.5 miles from my home, that I was forced to crap in the woods and use fallen leaves to wipe my butt, bear-style.  The area where I went fishing was very remote and there were no portable toilets, nor were there trails.  It was a good old fashioned 1.5 miles hike through raw and virgin forest to get there. Eventually I got wise and stuffed my pockets with toilet paper in case of emergencies, or put a half roll in the tackle box.  The friends I went fishing with all knew that I had gastroenterological issues.