Discrete professional situations and stoma noise

Have never tried anything to muffle the noise, but was often in very formal meetings etc...I worked at Harvard Business School and was often meeting with faculty or high level executives. If noises happened, frankly most people just ignore it. And, the noise factor decreases A LOT over time. You can try adding Immodium to your routine to slow things so that output is thicker and tends to make less noise. You can also try to time things so that you haven't eaten anything right before a big meeting. Or, you can always try the marshmellow trick that many use for bag changes - eat a marshmellow and output stops for 30 minutes or so...you could eat one or two before an important meeting and see if it helps...

I found that any noise an ostomy makes sounds more like a gurgling hungry tummy. The comments I used to get were: "oh, it sounds like you're hungry." Almost everyone has had a hungry tummy and it's not considered in the realm of 'bowel' discussions.

kathy

Thanks- not sounding as daunting now. Some have even told me they dont even get audible noise (as in something loud enough to even raise an eyebrow)- and perhaps avoiding gas producing foods helps too.

I have this problem pretty bad. At this stage i almost constantly have my hand over my stoma to muffle the noise. Its very annoying. My diet is not good though and maybe if i made some changes it would help.
Early morning is the worst time for me anyway. I think its because its the last of the gas coming out after the bowel has cleared.

I've resided myself to the fact that farting noises are always going to be something beyond my control, so I've decided to not let it worry me. If someone else has a problem with it, it's just that, their problem. Depending on who it is, I have no qualms in revealing the source of the noise, politely of course. We don't owe anyone any explanations, especially give all the pain we've endured, but, I can appreciate farting in an important business meeting could be somewhat off putting. Strangely enough, I find it an amazing ice breaker, most have no idea what an ileostomy is, showing a little dignity in briefly explaining, I've found, helps overcome that awkward silence often found in a professional situation.

Case and point, I can recall, back in the early 90's, when I had my temp ileostomy, and was at a job interview for a position I really wanted, but wasn't quite qualified for. Sure enough, right on cue, thanks to nervousness, the minute I was called into the interview my stoma started trumpeting louder then a symphony orchestra. The panel members just looked stunned as it was VERY noticeable, so before they could say anything, and to save my sanity, I used it as the ice breaker to end all icebreakers! I asked them if they had any idea why they could hear, but not smell anything. Dumbfounded, they had no clue, but one of them just couldn't stop giggling, so, I, ever so subtlety, explained what it was, and told them to laugh if they'd like.

With in a few minutes, I had them all in stitches, all without really saying a word. The more I'd laugh, the more I'd toot. I honestly can't remember the rest of the interview, all I do remember is hysterical laughter. Professional, probably not, but it felt so good to be open, honest, and leave such a positive impression. Unfortunately, in the end, I didn't get the position (they said I was a little too under qualified, that's fair), but they actually called me in person to tell me that although I didn't get hired, mine was the most memorable interview they'd ever conducted. They told me I demonstrated "extreme courage and strength" for facing my "bag" with humour and openness. They legitimately sounded sorry they were not able to hire me, but said I could use them as a personal reference any time I wanted.

A few years later, after I finished collage in between surgeries, another position became available in the same department. I get called for an interview, the door opens, and it's the exact same interviewers! Guess what? I got the job, with hardly a hello, they actually remembered, although years ago, my last interview. My point? Never assume an occasional toot will be frowned upon, in fact, thanks to the inner child in us all, that still giggles when we hear a totally unexpected fart, a few toots can lead to a lifelong, positive impression, strange huh? I've NEVER thought of myself as courageous, but, for some weird reason, people think I'm some kind of hero for surviving all my surgeries (like we have a choice), I'm just glad people find my childish humour as a sign of strength! Lol!

Cheers,
Eric

Oh Eric - I love your story! Having a brand new one week old permanent ileostomy I needed a good story like that!

As the starter if this thread way back when, a couple momths before I funally took the surgery plunge, I appreciate the responses... and felt I should report back on my just shy of 3 months of end ileo experience (it was supposed to be step 1 of 3 step jpouch but right now I am inclined to just quite here). I did have some farting noises very early on, eg the first 3 weeks, but since then it has become a distant memory. If I eat a lot kf dairy and dont take a lacteeze pill beforehand, I can get some fart noises but it is barely audible- certainly much quieter than a normie's fart. The bottom line is that one soon discovers which foods might create gas, and I know that most if the stuff that I eat makes no gas or noises whatsoever. So my worries on that front were much ado about nothing.

Sounds like you found some good health and and a good attitude to go with it! Congrats!

badplumbing... congrats on realizing its all not a big deal

Eric, this is such an old post, but I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed and appreciated your story and playfulness in working with the situation. Thanks for sharing.