Daughters surgery coming up

It sounds from you post that she won't have j-pouch created. If so, it's not as major as j-pouch creation surgery, still big surgery though. I don't think she will be in ICU. She will be in recovery and that's when most pain is. In my case, when I woke up, I was in a lot of pain, but was in and out of consciousness. Hopefully it won't be so bad for your daughter. The pain is managed through medication.
If I may suggest you to call her surgeon’s office and request a phone meeting with surgeon. Talk to surgeon so you have firsthand information as to what to expect. That may give you some comfort.

Thanks - and you are right. She's so sick right now that depending on how they make out with her colon, the 2nd surgery may or may not include a j pouch. They are thinking they may be able to save enough colon to not have to do anything else except the take down. Thanks for the suggestions of calling the surgeon.

I was so sick before my first surgery and I woke up feeling great! Just having that diseased organ out of me took a huge strain off of my body. My pain was well controlled at all times, but, of course, there is some discomfort. I do remember horrible back muscle pain and wish now I would have opted for massage to get thru that - I was too embarassed about the bag so didn't go.

Everyone is different, but we all need to deal with the pain before it gets bad. So, depending on the age of your daughter, remind her or have a nurse remind your ex,to keep up on the pain meds the first few days.