Dating a girl with a stoma

I'm not a female with a stoma. 

But it seems she will have to get comfortable to be able to let you see it. It's only been a year.  Takes awhile to build up confidence to be able to show the bag. You sound like you are doing ok. Just dont push the subject. If she comes around it will be on her terms. If you are OK as you say you are with it. Drop it and keep doing what your doing. 

My wife doesn't care about my appliance. She sees it and has actually changed the thing out herself. 

In other words don't worry about it. It's her decision to bring it up  On her own terms. 

Dude. You've been intimate.  That's a huge step in itself after just a year with it. A giant leap.  

Stay the course. You don't need to see it. No big deal. When we first get one we think it looks weird hangin off our body. I've had mine three years. I don't care if my wife sees it  Or anyone in fact. But I don't parade around in front of others. Just being polite.  Took me awhile to just being comfortable "seeing" it. Now it's just part of me. 

She will get to that point. 

Enjoy what you have now. Your doing ok. 

Richard 

I respect you so much. Thank you for being so kind with her. 

I like your ideas about making the bathroom stoma friendly. I would appreciate it.

She needs time. Give her time. In the meantime keep doing what you're doing. It's wonderful. 

BTW I just got my bag yesterday and I could not be happier. 

Good luck! 😊

As a female who had a bag last year (altho only temporary), I think it’s great that you educated yourself on ostomies, care, etc. I’m sure she really appreciates how much you care! It’s really endearing to see/hear. 

Mid day all of those things you are doing or plan to do in the bathroom for when she comes over are really nice gestures. Super nice! I always felt comfortable leaving some Imodium at my parents house, since I was married that was the only other place I spent time at. She may not even need that, idk. 

Id let her bring it up or let her address it. She’ll eventually move to being more comfortable with you, I’m sure. But sounds like you guys have connected well and already discussed a lot. Good luck! 

Congrats Adriana- glad your surgery went well and hope it continues to go well. 

You are doing ALL the right things (A++ on the bathroom amenities)! Don’t push & try not to worry or get involved in “seeing”. Let the relationship continue to evolve with trust & confidence & purity.  Let her have/ keep that piece of privacy (shyness) for now not having you see the ostomy during intimate times so she feels sexy & confident! I had a ileostomy bag temporarily & my husband did see it but only when I needed his help or was having a hard time changing it but we lived together for many years beforehand. I’m so happy or you two!! Keep up the great support. Wishing you both all the best!