I have been on Remicade for 3 years. It’s improved my Pouch inflammation considerably. I have not had any side effects from Remicade nor have I shown any signs of being immunosuppressed, although I had a cold in October 2017 which was the worst cold I ever had in terms of intensity of symptoms and also lingering for around 3-4 weeks. That was seemingly an aberration as I really haven’t been sick before or since, although I don’t have kids that might expose me to various microorganisms.

If you are 33 years old I wouldn’t be too worried about getting immunosuppressed. Like a lot of posters on here you have pre-judged the situation, possibly to your detriment. You don’t know how it will be on biological drugs until you are on them. Many people do VERY well on them with little or no issues.

I am 33 too, have crohns and a jpouch and take remicade once every four weeks. My GI says it's either this or likely lose the jpouch. I don't like either choices. With the remicade it's keeping the ulcers at bay, for now. I do get sick a lot. But I'm also on methotrexate. If you take remicade you'll also have to be on an immunosuppressive. Sorry about all the crap you're going through with your husband. That's rough. Speaking with a relationship counselor may help. I don't know. Dialogue is always good, I guess. Feel free to DM me anytime for any questions.

Do both of you take an additional drug besides the remicade? The specialist I saw suggested combining it with azathioprine or 6mp. My impression is this might work faster than remicade alone and reduces antibody development against remicade? It looks like it increases the risk of being immunocompromised and has additional unpleasant side effects though. 

I take methotrexate 15 mg once a week which is designed to suppress renal secretions of the Remicade and also take prescription folic acid to counteract the effects of the Methotrexate. As I said no issues and all of my blood labs are clean for 3 years. I should note that Imuran sent my liver chemistries haywire in the 1990s but no such issues with these meds.

You keep talking about “unpleasant side effects”, I have had none in 3 years. I see many many patients in the Remicade room and while I don’t know what their specific histories are they all have IBD and all report doing well. I have been in Remicade rooms with 4 patients at a time every 6 weeks for 3 years and never witnessed any infusion complications either. 

You also shouldn’t worry about antibody development because if it happens you go to Entyvio or 2-3 others. There are many biological drugs that can be used in lieu of Remicade. Talk to your doctor about it. We discussed Entyvio as my plan B but have never needed plan B. Plan C and D were also discussed. Still on plan A so I don’t worry about those things.