You guys certainly are not the first to have this dilemma to deal with and plenty have opted to just go for the ileostomy. I think it all depends on how motivated you are in any direction. But, the bottom line is that there is no guarantee with any option, medical or surgical. Each surgical option has its own set of problems and pitfalls. On the surface, continent ileostomy seems like a logical choice, but it has just as many, if not more risk of further surgery than the j-pouch (and that is the reason the j-pouch has pretty much replaced it). Chances are you can be lucky and go the rest of your life with a trouble free k-pouch or BCIR, but I would probably not opt for it unless there were local surgeons who could deal with issues of slipped valves and other complications. But, that is me. The end ileostomy is the simplest procedure with the most data available, and any general surgeon could deal with nearly any complication that might come up (yes, even end ileostomies can require revisions, have hernias, etc.). Some people opt to leave the pouch in place, like Cataja, and do well.
But, even then, there is no guarantee you will not still need medications. I know this is like being between a rock and a hard place, with no great solutions, just mediocre ones... Everyone here who decided to go with the end ileostomy have been happy with their decision, except for one that I can think of. That person was allergic to every single ostomy appliance adhesive, and had to travel a long distance to get the k-pouch.
Best wishes in figuring this all out. I think one thing is certain. At some point you have to choose, or go crazy.
Jan