I just can't. I've tried. Fertillity doc wouldn't even do IVF on me without using a surrogate. Anyway. I decided to become a foster parent. I now have a son (been with me 5 years) and I couldn't imagine loving my own child any more than I love this boy! When I started out, I didn't think taking care of someone else's child would be as rewarding as having my own but I can honestly say it has satisfied my every desire to have children. It's a great option too if you can't afford thousands of dollars for surrogates or IVF or adoption. I've just been so blessed by this experience and wanted to share for those losing hope.
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Thanks Jennifer for letting other moms (or future moms) know that there are other options...I tried for 25yrs to have kids, the best I managed was ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages and every type of surgery and treatment known to the best obgyns around at the time...They all refused to try IVF on me due to my medical condition saying that it would be fruitless...
So I turned to fostering teens...mostly girls. Kids in trouble, troubled families needing a break...I had them from 1-7yrs with me but never longer...still keep in touch with some but most are gone now...but it was fun at the time...I gave my love, had a place to put my heart and learned the meaning of selflessness...and do not regret a minute of it.
Now I have step-daughters and thanks to them 2 grandkids with a 3rd on the way...makes life worth living.
No, it does not replace having your own nor does it fill that tiny little space in my heart the aches when I see another woman pregnant and hearing about the kicks and the wonders of having a life inside of you...
but I hurt a little less now when stupid people ask me why I don't like kids ( 'you must not like them if you didn't have any')...
There are a thousand ways of becoming a mom...
Sharon
So I turned to fostering teens...mostly girls. Kids in trouble, troubled families needing a break...I had them from 1-7yrs with me but never longer...still keep in touch with some but most are gone now...but it was fun at the time...I gave my love, had a place to put my heart and learned the meaning of selflessness...and do not regret a minute of it.
Now I have step-daughters and thanks to them 2 grandkids with a 3rd on the way...makes life worth living.
No, it does not replace having your own nor does it fill that tiny little space in my heart the aches when I see another woman pregnant and hearing about the kicks and the wonders of having a life inside of you...
but I hurt a little less now when stupid people ask me why I don't like kids ( 'you must not like them if you didn't have any')...
There are a thousand ways of becoming a mom...
Sharon
A good friend of mine couldn't have children of her own. She started fostering a little girl in 1992 when the girl was 4 years old. A few years later her and her husband were able to adopt the little girl and she is every bit their daughter if my friend gave birth to her herself. She is now a gorgeous, wonderful 24 yr old who I couldn't imagine not being part of their family. Fostering is wonderful. Thanks for sharing this!
I fostered and then adopted my two amazing kids! We got them when they were 3 and 5 - they are now 11 and 13. I wouldn't have life without them!
We never tried IVF or anything like that - we were keen to adopt. It was after 11 years of infertility and marriage that I conceived spontaneously - while I am obviously really really happy about the baby my husband and I have a complete family and there was nothing missing. This only adds to the fun!
I would seriously encourage people to look into it.
The pregnancy has brought up insecurities in the kids about 'blood' relatives - but I can say hand on heart that it makes no difference!
We never tried IVF or anything like that - we were keen to adopt. It was after 11 years of infertility and marriage that I conceived spontaneously - while I am obviously really really happy about the baby my husband and I have a complete family and there was nothing missing. This only adds to the fun!
I would seriously encourage people to look into it.
The pregnancy has brought up insecurities in the kids about 'blood' relatives - but I can say hand on heart that it makes no difference!
Great stories!
What a beautiful story. I'm always surprised when I meet people who cannot have children and refuse to adopt. They feel that not having their own biological child will cause them to love this adopted child less. I wish they could see your post(s) and learn that it's possible to love ANY child. Thanks for sharing.
Sue
Sue
I adopted two children a little over 35 years ago directly from children's services. There were no costs involved other than legal filing fees. How much does an adoption cost these days? With all the wonderful children who need homes, why are there any fees at all?
that's right. Your fees are waved if you adopt a child from foster care! It's amazing! A US adoption can cost $20,000 and up and there is usually a waiting list... not to mention the push is for open adoption nowadays... I imagine if the child is in foster care, there is less chance of open adoption pressure. Don't get me wrong, open can really be beneficial to the child I just know some people aren't into that.
This is a great post. Thank you!