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Been a while, nice to see you!

Mental KaseMental KaseMember
Hello Friends,

It's been a long time since I lasted posted. I really hope you are all doing well, hanging in there!

Crohn's is a strange disease that has taken me through a virtual Kaleidescope of bizarre feelings and sensations. Bloating and pain, cramps, spasms, liquid stool all the time and joints that ache -and sleep issues, and to top it off my indefatigable Libido has finally succumbed to it all. I've always been what some call a serial Monogamist. My most recent break up was last year and I've had no interest in looking for another, and I still have no interest. Feels a bit like I've had my last fling.

Anyway, the trials of continually flaring Crohn's has kept me on a steady diet of Narcotics (as many of you already know), most recently Methadone due to cost, and that was awful, wow. If you want to live in a really odd dream state where you are semi conscious most of the time then Methadone is your ticket.

There has been a Benefit to Hassle ratio related to managing my pain with narcotics. The balance really tipped the wrong way today.

The future has caught up with my PCP's office, new protocols, Mental Kase gets his FIRST urine test! Huh? Since I'm still cash pay that's an OV charge +Lab charges + the actual script ($120) and he won't hand over the script until he confirms I'm not lit on Amphetamines and Cocaine too, lol... He's known me for years and I don't even know where to get that stuff...C'mon.

Hey, just the rules now. Add to that the fact that I've been knocking on his 200mg Morph/equiv comfort zone so often that he has finally lost his comfort and he just doesn't want the risk anymore. I can understand that, why would he want to mess with my case anymore since I've run through nearly every option. My tolerance is a bit high but there are many that take doses 2 or 3 times what I've been taking. The cost and hassle and now this... I think I will be done with Narcotics in the near future, just not working.

I've snapped out of my recent spiral and I'm feeling ALOT better so maybe this is a good time to get my mind in the right space for a tough transition. Yes, a bit scary but I'm thinking about that freedom from pills and how good that will feel. No more watching the clock and obsessing over my ridiculous pill tower, a plastic parking garage for pills with 5 levels, it's pathetic, I'm still youngish. Plenty of Crohn's sufferers out there that just grind it out, actually most do that, they're not all taking narcotics. They tough it out. I used to do that, I was a toughey, I did it. I can do it again, I just need an attitude adjustment!

MK~
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Jan DollarJan DollarModerator, RN, retired
Best of luck to you. Yes, unfortunately, this is a common tale. With opiates, things are good when they are good, but eventually you need more for the same effect, even if your pain levels remain stable. So, long term, they are more of a curse than a blessing (sort of like prednisone, which can be a wonder drug--short term).

I live in fear of similar challenges since I have chronic pain with my arthritis. I really grumbled when my rheumatologist wanted me to step up my Norco because I was undermedicating. So, instead of once a day, I added 1/2 a pill in the afternoon. I only take more if there is a major flare. I hope that making sure one dose is completely worn off before the next dose comes will keep the opiate hunger at bay. It is a real balancing act, so I know where you are coming from. Basically, you just get used to background pain.

Anyone who says you cannot get addicted if you use narcotics for pain is kidding themselves. I have never felt high with Norco, or even Percocet.

I dream of days when they have better solutions!

Jan Smiler
Mental KaseMental KaseMember
Jan,

Wonderful that you can still get by with Norco since that is a tough one to stick with on the Opiate ladder. There is also that distinction between the physical 'dependence' and 'addiction' which is a somewhat different issue. I don't subscribe to the idea that if someone happens to feel a bit of euphoria with their pain meds that they should label themselves an 'addict' for it. Euphoria is a documented medical feature of opiates so no need for people to beat themselves up about it. Many will point out very emphatically that they NEVER feel any euphoria from their meds as if that is a guaranteed hedge against abuse. It runs the gamut, all situations are unique to the individual but it would be silly and untrue if I were to say with all of the various narcotics that I have sampled that I had never had any euphoric moments. Not true, I've had many, and they come and go and sometimes it's a pleasant break from unrelenting pains. I don't consider myself an addict for feeling what is a natural feature of a particular drug, I'm just a human being reacting normally to a chemical...

My Docs have (until recently with my PCP) always afforded me a good bit of latitude to make my own choices. My GI provider continually harps on me to limit the narcotics since they are not a friend of Crohn's. However, he has yet to explain to me the actual mechanism of harm in medical terms, perhaps you know that answer?

For me, being relatively pain free for a few hours is its own form of euphoria, what a gift it is at times when all is going downhill. As for Prednisone, I just this last week was able to get weaned completely from it. I've never seen Prednisone as a negative since the life saving benefits it provides to so many millions of people for a whole variety of illnesses. It is what it is. I always felt lucky to have it. Cipro, I'm not so thrilled with Cipro. Humira seems to be working for me in conjunction with a low dose Imuran chaser so I will be sticking with that. The narcotics, I don't hate them, nor crave them, again, they just are what they are. I can be done with them -it may not be a cakewalk because I am physically 'dependent' on them as is anyone who takes them for more than a couple of months, just another reality that I don't beat myself up about. Diabetics are dependent on Insulin. You know all of this.

On a lighter note: I'm proud to say that I still have enough sphincter power to hold back a wicked urge for several hours! yay sphincter power!

MK-
Last edited by Mental Kase

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