I am so sorry about the bad news Marianne,
I know how devastating it can be to have someone so close to you get ill...especially with cancer. It is a long and rocky road ahead that will lead to a roller coaster of emotions...But that does not make your 'little booboos' and less painful...we suffer with whatever it is that we have..be it heal spurs, butt burn or acid reflux...doesn't negate what your mother in law is going through but her disease does not take away your pain or discomfort either.
When I yell at hubby for complaining about a lumbago or a cold he gets upset and says that I am not the only one allowed to suffer (ouch!)...
Please, Do not bottle in your pain or misery (no matter how small) just because a loved on is suffer something else (no matter how big).
I know that that was not your point (sorry, I ran off topic) but it is very bad for us to feel like we are no longer allowed to complain just because someone else is sick too.
Lots of hugs...I know that you are going to need them now more than ever.
Sharon

I am so sorry for you and your family My father died not too long ago and it was very painful, especially for my then eleven year old son. I agree with you, this, certainly does put our problems into perscpective. I remind myself of this often when I'm feeling sorry for myself. When I'm down I usually give myself a 24 hour pity party and that's that. I had a 7 year old niece die of brain cancer so going to the bathroom too much, chronic fatigue, joint pain doesn't seem too bad. Not saying I don't have days when I'm extremely frustrated, but I try to remind myself that there are people suffering sooo much more than I am. Sending prayers to your family!

I am sorry to hear this news. It brings back some memories of my paternal Grandmother and when we received the diagnosis that pancreatic cancer had spread through her body and nothing could be done for her. A decision was made within the family not to tell her of the diagnosis, or her impending demise. I was extremely close to her as a boy and only learned after her death and when I was older that she was a manic-depressive and had been given shock therapy in the 1950s when such was in vogue.

Long before this diagnosis, and on many occasions in the year before her death, my Grandmother told me that "God is going to take me away." If you heard it at the time, as I did as a young boy, you did not quite know what to make of these statements, which were preceded by her breaking into tears and crying uncontrollably. We did not yet know of her diagnosis, or even that she was sick.

I have never forgotten this and have always wondered whether this was just a rambling manifestation of her manic-depressive order, or whether these were the prophetic statements of a person who knew of her impending death.

My parents allowed me and my sister to see her at the very end. I was 12 and my sister 9. I am not sure if this was a very good idea. She had pancreatic cancer and was very jaundiced. I would have preferred not to see her like that because I still have that memory to this day.

Thank you all for your kind words.

DJB, my boys are 10 and 11...just about your and your sister's age when your grandmother passed. I will tell them everything, but I just can't right now. They are going to be crushed.

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They are going to be crushed.

I really feel for them, and I remember when I got the same news about my Grandma. In those days, late 1960s and early 1970s, my paternal Grandparents were the de facto daycare providers for me and my sister. We spent almost as much time with them as we did with my parents. Things changed after my Grandmother died.

My Grandmother was a tremendous cook and had natural culinary skills. I remember that she had a pressure cooker she was very fond of using to cook corn and cabbage. My favorite thing that she made was her stuffed chicken. She made a delicious bread stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy and I always looked forward to that.

Every time me and my sister were dropped off at her house she always had these Brachs candies waiting for us. She knew I liked the peppermint so she always had that.

Despite her mental illness she was the best Grandmother a kid could have. She took very good care of my sister and I and we loved her very much, and missed her very much when she passed. It was my first experience with the death of a close relative.

I'm so sorry for your family. Hopefully your boys will learn from this experience. Back in the day, when my kids were in pre-school at our church, their teacher had a fall lesson plan where they studied how everything was dying before or for winter. I wish I could remember one of the books she used. They taught about the cycle of life and likened it to the seasons - not just fall.

Maybe there's a similar book like that somewhere, library, church, library???

Don't feel guilty for complaining about your anemia etc. We can always find people worse off than we are, it doesn't mean our hurting isn't real. I'm sure you are going to do all you can.