What I wish the doc had told me was:

-use calmoseptine, zinc ointment or some other barrier cream on your sore anus.

-to slow your guts down, try fine ground organic psyllium powder.  Experiment with small amounts and take with lots of water.

-if certain foods bother you, try digestive enzymes. The internet says (in multiple places) that "when surgeons remove and/or rearrange some parts of the digestive tract, this can disrupt how well the body produces digestive enzymes." 

-get a squatty potty, and if you have trouble with your bowel movements, get pelvic floor therapy. Sometimes the muscles that work to get bowels moving get messed with during surgery and have to be retrained.

They'll say a low fiber diet is best and I'm sure that's true when you're first healing inside, but it made my butt burn so much worse. 

I wish my doctor had not, in an attempt to slow down my guts, prescribed opiates.  That roller coaster ride set me way off balance, and the withdrawal was awful.  I still had some friends, luckily, after those 6 months. Psyllium good.  Opiates bad. 

Thanks they have already started me on pelvic floor therapy and suggested I get the squatty potty. I have been more.worried about  Leakage never really saw too many complaints about not being able to go. My ostomy nurse already recommended the calmospetine. Really struggled with the ostomy the first 2 1/2 months with leakage. Hope you are doing well.

Sounds like they are better at follow up/after care these days.  My doc wasn't, but that was 20 years ago! 

It took a little while (6 months) for me and my pouch to get used to each other.  Initially I missed my ileostomy very much...eventually I understood my pouch and it's functions and how it would react depending on what I ate.  Initially the biggest problem was "butt burn".  That will settle with time and lots of zinc ointment.  I found that I could not use Calmoseptine as the menthol in it was too hot.  I wore a Depend undergarment at night because I found I had to wake at least 2-3 times to empty at night in the first 6-8 weeks post op.  I am able to eat everything any anything except blueberries (horrific butt burn) a lot of tomato products for the same reason.  Otherwise I am so very very happy...back at work as a critical care nurse and last year I lived in the UK and flew internationally for a major airline.  Good luck.

During the time I had a J pouch, I found that using a bidet significantly reduced the amount of butt burn by washing away all the pouch output that caused discomfort.  In my case, I installed a permanent bidet in my bathroom, but there are less expensive models that fit on the toilet in place of the seat and are easily installed.  They can be purchased on Amazon, eBay and other retailers.

Thanks I have purchased a travel one for now

Yes, bidet was one of the major things I forgot to mention!  So much better when you can wash your butt and pat dry.  I got one from Amazon that is cold water only, but I live in TX, so half the year the cold water isn't cold. I like it because it is hand-held and you can aim it and wash from the front, like the way you wipe.  Spraying back to front seems a bit unhygienic to me, as a person with a vagina.

When I was at my wit’s end with my new pouch, an excellent ostomy nurse told me to ‘put my patience hat on.’ For some reason, that calmed me and I was able to deal with the ups and downs of those early times. Also, until I got my bidet, hopping into the shower after every bowel movement was a hassle but a lifesaver. Use a mild soap like Cetaphil.