I want a jpouch redo however having another 2 ostomies for the next 9 months sends me in an absolute panic. The last 2 ostomies I had were traumatizing. I once had a NG tube inserted into them. Then when it was reversed, they put powder down my hole in my belly and I couldn't get it out. I'm crying tonight and I can't calm myself down. He also mentioned that the first stoma will be loop just as the second one and I just can't handle it. Also, my edgepark order history is gone. I had a Hollister convex but I threw everything away because of how mad I was back then.
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First of all, take a deep breath. Go for a 10 minute walk outside and find some sign of spring to focus on. Know that life will go on one small step at a time. It is extremely difficult to focus on the end goal when our minds are jumping all over the place reliving past nightmares. Write down a list of your concerns and think of the person or resource who can help you address each concern. You don’t have to take them on all at once. You CAN do this and you will get through it. Advocate for yourself and find good support.
Take a sheet of paper, and write down everything positive on having a ostomy. Having an ostomy will give you your life back, less problems than you have now, and less suffering than now. Remember to stay in the moment and do not think about the future. Write down everything you are grateful for and everything you have. Do not focus on the things you cannot change, only focus on what you can change.
I believe in you and I have faith in you too! You can do this! Message me anytime if you need me, you are not alone.
I get it, the loop.ostomy was a nightmare for me. But focus on the end goal, which sounds to me to be a well functioning pouch. And you are ahead of the game now. You've been there and you know what the issues were with your ostomy so you can proactively take steps to get through this round smoother. You can do this! Look how much you've already overcome!
Were you originally Andrina???
I am sorry to read of your panic regarding going back to ostomy. I can only reflect on my history as a potential positive. When I lost my colon to UC >20 yrs ago, the 6 month period between colectomy and having my new Jpouch all hooked up (3 step surgery) were the absolute best I have felt physically in 30+ yrs. No question. I keep my pouch now for all the reasons one hangs onto a less-than-perfect situation (pouchitis...remicade...sterlara...cipro...), but hold onto hope that someday I can get much better health back if the pouch ever gets to be too much. Not sure if that helps, but it does sound like you are going to get a spell of good weather ahead!
@Former Member posted:Were you originally Andrina???
Yes
@Andreita posted:Yes
I never knew you could change your name on here?! LOL! Pretty cool!
How did you change your name???
How are you doing??? Are you doing okay???
@Former Member posted:I never knew you could change your name on here?! LOL! Pretty cool!
How did you change your name???
How are you doing??? Are you doing okay???
I asked a mod and he changed it for me kindly (thanks again)
I'm hanging in there. Last night I had a dream that I had gotten a loop and I woke up feeling for a bag
I'm still not 100% mentally ok with this and I will talk about it more with my surgeon and hopefully he can help me get through this
They need to make it a loop because it's difficult to make an end with a jpouch already in place. Iearned that the other day
I already ordered convex bags and scissors because I threw away everything I had last time. I'll be prepared
@Andreita posted:I asked a mod and he changed it for me kindly (thanks again)
I'm hanging in there. Last night I had a dream that I had gotten a loop and I woke up feeling for a bag
I'm still not 100% mentally ok with this and I will talk about it more with my surgeon and hopefully he can help me get through this
They need to make it a loop because it's difficult to make an end with a jpouch already in place. Iearned that the other day
I already ordered convex bags and scissors because I threw away everything I had last time. I'll be prepared
And no problem, hope everything works out for you 
Message me or email me anytime if you need extra support, I am here for you love
You are soo prepared! That is amazing, you have always been resilient! I have complete faith you are going to rock this