Early on, after my takedown, I seemed to have a "bashful J-pouch".  The toilet wasn't its friend, at all!  I found I had to train myself to "like" the toilet by having positive experiences once sitting on it.  That meant.......no pain, discomfort, etc. when trying to have a bowel movement on the toilet!  I had no problem emptying my j-pouch in the shower while spraying my bottom with water.  So, I got a bidet for my toilet and the warm water seemed to relax my sphincter(s) enough so I could have a bowel movement.  To speed things along I learned that if I coughed hard while sitting on the toilet I had a BM immediately!  I used that trick for quite some time.  It's been 15 years since my takedown and using the toilet is no longer an issue and hasn't been for many, many years.  The only problem I have is that I tend to urinate at the same time as I have a BM and it's impossible for me to give a "clean catch" of a urine specimen for a urinalysis.  I need to be catheterized each time.  Oh, well!  It's at these times I wish I were a male!

If the above does not help, some other things to consider:

Sounds to me like a mechanical obstruction, like some sort of positional prolapse or intussusception. This can develop over time due to overstretching of the pouch and internal scar tissue. Scoping may show nothing amiss, but defagraphy may show your defect.

Perhaps it is as simple as the height of your toilet. Have you tried putting your feet up on a small stool?

Jan

I was listening to a doctor on NPR about squatting when having a bm, not necessarily for pouches, but just in general. Reminded me of the squatting toilet at Narita Airport in Japan.  He went on to discuss how we've been basically toileting the wrong way.  So I looked up squatty potties on line.  Basically a stool you put in front of the toilet to assist in squatting to empty.  Looks like a good idea and an easy and inexpensive possible solution.  

Some of my friends have raised toilets because it is difficult for them to stand up after using a toilet which is closer to the floor.  I hate them (the toilets/not my friends!) because I empty my J-pouch so much easier if I'm squatting in a lower sitting position.  The "squatty potty" would help in these circumstances.  My own toilets are low to the ground purposely!  Young children are very appreciative, as well!  I installed grab bars for those who need assistance standing up from a lower toilet.