I've had a fistula with seton in since '12 (RV).  I didn't want to get the seton, either, but it's really been a good thing for me.  No more abscessing, swelling, pain.  Yes, there is the yellow rubbery thing there, but I've made a decision to stick with it, since surgery - in my case - isn't very promising a cure (according to my surgeon).  So don't be afraid - - -

So if my surgeon says it will only be in for 3 months that is a pipe dream.  If you have an abscess does that mean there is a fistula to go along with it?

Yes sadly fistulas and abscess' go hand and hand. Have you had an MRI done?  That will give you indication if a fistula exists. 

If just an abscess, the seton may not need to be in long.  I agree with Brewbirds - an MRI would be helpful at this point.

The surgeon just wants to do the surgery, he said nothing about an MRI

Any recommendations for Perianal abcess pain?

Soak in a hot tub.  That will help.  Mine felt better once it burst.  Have you seen your doctor yet?

Yes, I have a MRI coming soon.

In 2007 I had a peri-anal abscess, diagnosed by MRI and a procedure to open the fistula and insert a seton. It took a while to get used to, I use a dilator and it made that more uncomfortable so I had the first seton replaced, then the second one broke and I had a third inserted, which I still have.

Apart from the hospital visits it's not been much bother - I only notice it when I wash that area. I do sometimes get a little nightime incontinenece (I use pads) but I also had that before so I don't know if the seton contributes. In my case the Doc reckons it's best left petmanently as my fistula runs through my sphincter muscles and any surgical intervention there risks causing more serious bowel incontinence.

Overall I'd say my abscess was far worse and the seton is just another thing I got used to, not as bad to live with as I imagined before I had it.