Ditto...
I have a k pouch...but the same holds for me...no all-you-can-eat buffets in the beginning before sex...no spontaneous-out-in-the-forest or on the mountainside sex (never did it before the pouch either so no great loss!)...
I prepared in the beginning...I ate light, used the washroom, freshened up and then said a prayer to the G-d of colonless people who are his special children and hoped for the best.
Took a while to relax. Used a towel under me for ages. Practically stamped warning tattoos on certain body parts to not come too close (I have an abdominal stoma)...
Then one day I forgot to be nervous. Forgot the towel, the fear, the pain, the scars and the paranoia with a guy...so I married him!
Do NOT forget to have fun...laugh, enjoy, relax...that is what it is all about.
Sharon