I don't have any advice for limiting the noises -- unless certain foods trigger them more, in which case you can avoid them. Sometimes I flush the toilet to help cover noise, but no one is fooled by that!

Seriously, I have taken to announcing the noise in certain situations. For instance, on a work trip where a colleague and I shared a bathroom at the hotel I just told her: "Listen, I don't have a colon and I make a lot of noise in the bathroom. It's embarrassing and I apologize in advance." She didn't even bat an eye and everything was just fine. In a crowded, public bathroom I generally just hang out for a while until there has been a switch over of clientele, if you know what I mean.

At friends' houses I don't worry about it. They all know, or I tell them (as above). I'm more concerned about the smell I often leave behind, so I always take matches or something along with me. AND I always check to make sure the toilet is clean after me!

Gin

Thanks! I've always been extremely self-conscious about it and tried to hide it, which means holding it for as long as possible. Not many people know about it, but I'm trying to break out of that a little and be more open.

My biggest challenge is at work, it's a new job and I thought I could manage it. but the bathroom is in the middle of everyone and it's a very small, quiet office with customers and employees. Im not comfortable at all! I honestly think I'm going to switch jobs as I can't keep running out to the restaurant next door every time I have to use the bathroom.

It is helpful to realize that I'm not the only one as I've felt that way for a long time. Thanks for your advice!

I work in an environment where everybody knows everybody else. At first I was devastated when I knew I was going to make horrid noises in the toilet stall. Then I remembered that I had heard other people having bm's in the bathroom and thought to myself…well, that is just normal. I have heard people vomiting and changing feminine hygiene. I figure my explosions are just a different noise. All that being said I still try to get to the bathroom during times when most of my co-workers are busy.

Not too long ago I was in the Narita, Japan airport. Whenever I land there I make it a point to check out the women's bathroom. (Not sure if the men's bathroom has the same kind of toilet.) Anyway, the women's toilets all have TOTO bidets....which are a part of the toilet seat. The controls are attached on the side of the toilet....no remotes in this bathroom. New this year was a control button I had never seen before. When you push it, the toilet makes the sound of flushing! It doesn't actually flush (waste of water) it just makes the sound a couple of times! So, the Japanese must also find bathroom noises embarrassing and have created a "cover up" built into their bidets!

I count myself lucky in that my work restroom is a single room and not a multi-stall restroom. I always take this convenience into consideration whenever I think about looking for a new job.

If possible, try running the faucet or shower while your on the pot - of flush the toilet when the big noises start.

Has it always been explosive and noisy or is this something new?

Couple of things to try, cut out "gassy" foods (beans, broccoli, etc) for a day and see if that helps.

Try some BeaNo.

Have you started any new medications that might be causing gas? Since you have a new job, stress might play a factor and if you're eating out to fit in, well, fast food tears me up.

Deathstalker: If ColoradoCarrie lives in Colorado, please don't let the faucet run to make noise. Try and conserver water out here in the West.

I used to be embarrassed.. now I embrace it.. most of the time if im going at work.. people know of my condition anyway.. so if the explosive noises happen I completely exaggerate it and yell something like OHHH YEAAA THERE IT IS.. or FIRE IN THE HOLE!! I dunno maybe im just weird.. lol

I agree with just being honest with people about it. This is the rest of your life you deserve to be as comfortable about yourself as everyone else no matter where you are. It's not your fault this happen so people should just accept it and deal with it because it's who you are everyone had their flaws. So what if it's noisy. I work with alot of other people and share a bathroom and trust me those "normal" people that still have regular digestive systems have made worse noise than I have and way smellier and what are those people doing listening anyway tell them to get back to work and earn their pay. You gotta make the best out of your situation and the best thing is being open and making a joke it out it.

Nah, I just let it rip... Sometimes I do a courtesy flush.

My husband's nickname for me is his "little rumble strip."

OZ.....you made my day! Thanks!

I have had my jpouch since Dec. 2006 and only in the last 6 months has the explosiveness dissipated to the point it is rare.

You might want to try going when you don't think you need to. This would often fake out my sphincter before he could load up the volume, if you know what I mean.

Try drinking a ton of water/fluids.
Since my surgery I get dehydrated pretty easily. I try to shoot for 9 glasses of fluids a day.
If I drink 3 glasses before noon, 3 more before dinner and the remaining 3 before bed, I've found it helps tremendously with the noise. If I get even a little dehydrated, the sounds are terrible!

This might help as well! This is hilarious!!!

http://www.toilette-humor.com/...Uvqbg4QWL7g.facebook

ColoradoCarrie & GynLyn,

Your first two posts is something I could have written myself. I know exactly what you mean. I have felt that way myself.

If I am in a public bathroom, like work, sometimes I just sit there for a time if other men are in there. I will pass some gas and BM, but I still feel the explosion coming and I have to bend over a bit because I get more gas out that way and it sounds like about a 4 or 5 second bomb. What is worse, some of the doors to the bathroom do not close right away for those who are disabled and in a wheel chair.

So I have to wait until the door closes before I let it go. I work on the 8th floor and if I pass this huge bomb while the door is open, people will hear it in the basement of my building.

And the stench is nauseating, even to me. So I am very embarrased if I have to use the bathroom in other people's homes.

This part is bothersome for me. Since I will be divorced soon, once I heal from this entire process, I would like to date again some time in the future, but I think I would have to reconsider that and not even bother. I can't imagine being with someone for a time, she invites me in, I have to use the restroom, she will hear it, I will be embarrassed. So that will end that relationship.

Rocket

I am getting surgery on May 8th. does the gas and noise happen with everyone who has a jpouch, does it happen every time? I have htat problem now, but I was hoping it would go away with the pouch

Count on it. Then if it doesn't happen, consider yourself blessed.

-Roni*

I have the same problem.  Totally sucks, especially when you take business trips and are roomed with someone that you are really not that close to.  I don't like telling people about it at work...........only the few I am closest to know my issues.  It is not easily understood unless you have actually personally dealt with it.  Don't most people laugh about gas??  I personally don't think those kinds of jokes are funny because it's not funny when you deal with it on a daily basis.  It even disgusts my husband (which kind of hurts since I surely cant help it and find it embarassing).  Sorry- I'm sounding like a pessimist.

 

History- Ulcerative colitis to toxic megacolon to emergency colectomy in Dec 2003.  Final pull down surgery done in July 2004.  

I love the blast, when I have it. Totally empties everything when I have that burst of gas. 

 

I guess I've had nearly a quarter of a century to get used to that.  I am not ashamed!

If you have music on your phone.  Turn it on while in there.  Turn it up loud!  It's what I do but I don't let the noise bother me.
It is what it is.

This came up in another thread a few years ago and somebody posted this tip - it works wonders:  Carry antibacterial wipes with you. Put the toilet seat up. Wipe down the porcelain "rim" and sit directly on it - you'll find that on the vast majority of toilets you can form a "seal" that keeps most of the noise contained. This really changed things for me!

 

I agree with everyone on here especially you Tamtam and Rocket.   I am embarrassed about it.  The smell and the explosive noise.  I have tried some of the suggestions mentioned on this site but I hate having to deal with this on a daily basis.    I have a hard time staying at other people's houses or traveling and sharing a room with someone.   And trying to start a relationship with somebody and have to tell them about this problem is difficult.    Needless to say my social life sucks.   Traveling is very limited for me. 

I also feel embarrassed. I avoid sleeping over at other peoples' homes and one year we had a business trip and I had to inform my colleague about the explosiveness before hand.  She knew about my condition, but she didn't know what it sounds like when I do a number two. 

What I normally do when I am at work, is that I will hold out until there is nobody in the toilet and do my thing.  I always take body spray with for afterwards.  When I am in a public restroom, I will wait until someone dries their hands and do my thing.

It's stressful, but I will have to get to the point where I don't care about what people think. It's a personal thing I guess.

I broke up with the guy I was dating with last year June and I don't feel like meeting anyone new and explaining the whole story.

Also, our church is having a  camp at the end of the year and I am so not going, because I will have to share a room with others and a lot of people know I was sick, but doesn't know what happens behind closed doors.

I wish I could just get over it all though....

For what it's worth, I think making bathroom sounds in a bathroom is completely appropriate. I'm saddened that folks are struggling with this, and I believe most adult listeners would ignore it completely. I'd encourage everyone to find some way to be more accepting of their bodies, complete with the associated sounds and smells. Life is too short to spend it hiding from giant, man-eating farts.

I feel the same as most people here. I have opted out of many events because I would be sharing rooms. And if I do go I am uncomfortable and it's all I can think about it. What a shame but I can't get past it.

 

However, lately I have noticed a direct correlation between my sugar consumption and gas. The more sugary foods I eat the more gas I have.

Anyway you can. Fan, faucets, loud coughing sounds. Anything is better than screams of pain!!! Feel very fortunate if no one has heard you yell in agony during one of those episodes. Which reminds me: Stay Away From - "Bear Naked Whole Grain Energy Bars" or any whole grain strong fibers unless you want to invite one of those episodes. The energy bars are very small yet dense and make you feel overstuffed; like you want to go now  but you really don't even need to. They also put one of those hard, painful lumps right in the rectum. One of the worst sickening feelings I've had with the J-Pouch.

 

If your going to the bathroom a lot/not much and having a lot of burning and your eating right (no tomato paste, hot sauce, carbonated beverages, gas-inducing food, drink or activity) then you most likely have pouchitis/cuffitis. Then you need a few days of Cipro/Flagyl and it should knock that out. Doctors and "normal" people will tell you to take a full course of antibiotics (14 days or so) but I disagree. In my experience, after 5 days max the inflammation is gone and you can save the rest for when it happens again. I've taken the Cipro/Flagyl combo when I wasn't sure I had pouchitis/cuffitis for a couple of days and shown improvement and had relief. Best to always have some on hand. The times I've taken the full 2 week course of the combo I have actually improved and had it come back within the 14 days while still taking the antibiotics. I asked my surgeon about this and he said that sometimes the pouch is gonna do what it's gonna do regardless of your actions. I can't tell you how many times, however, that I've taken the anti-biotic combo 3 or 4 days and knocked it out, then have it come back a week later and repeated the doses and knocked it out again quickly within 3 to 5 days. So, that works for me. I have chronic pouchitis but I have gone a month or more without a flair-up and I would credit strict adherence to diet for that. The J-Pouch is a trade-off from the bag. You can't be one who lives for food if you want to keep that bag off your stomach.

 

Now, some advice for quelling the "sound and the fury" of the butt explosion and burn. First, put toilet paper in a solid layer over the toilet water to block "splash-back". If you have a strong urge to go try to hold it until these steps are complete. Wipe with a little lotion any stool residue that may already be outside the rectum and burning the skin. Take a dab of Calmoseptine on the index finger and rub it directly on the hole and a little inside (but not far). Also, rub on the inside walls of the butt to make a protective barrier for when the lava flood comes. Something about the Calmoseptine (maybe the menthol) sorta makes the hole spasm and forces the stool and gas out fast and hard. The next step of blocking the stool with lotioned toilet paper and letting it slide and plop off onto the toilet paper layered toilet water with decrease the speed and direct the firepower to where it doesn't pepper the toilet seat and floor/walls etc. The lotioned toilet paper massaging action can start a nice wave of gas and poo and end it a complete emptying of the pouch. Sometimes that is the highlight of the day. To feel completely empty and free. That's when I do sports and have my best sex, is after that. Okay, if you get as far as the dab on the hole without going yet your doing great. Take some more paper and put lotion on it. Stand half-way up with knees bent and massage the hole with the lotioned paper and press on the area right below the butt-bone. You know, the point on your butt that when you lay flat on your back at night, pressure from the mattress on that area makes you feel like you need to go immediately, although you just got out of the bathroom and you are trying to lay down again and going back to the bathroom you find you can only just go a little (so, you don't really need to go bad; that pressure on that point just below the butt-bone by the mattress squeezes your pouch making you think you do) and that process can repeat endlessly.

 

While your massage that "below the butt-bone and butt-hole area (the spot right below the butt-bone and the hole you will fart a poo in a controlled manner and it will fall right on the paper on top of the toilet water. If done correctly, sound will be minimal and you will empty most if not all of your pouch. I hope this helps someone; I do this everyday and it did take practice. I try to leave the bathroom without an Calmoseptine on because it does seem to promote pooping action. I use Aloe Vesta (a product made up of mostly zinc oxide) or just plain zinc oxide. It seems to quell any itch and dry discomfort the best w/o irritation. Back to the "energy bar" comment: If you don't deal with a lot of "butt burn" then those bars and other fibers are great to get things going and out of there. Apple Juice works pretty good too. However, if your like most of us, butt burn is horrifying and some days you dread eating period and certainly dread going to the bathroom. So the bars and the strong fiber can make for a horrible, painful day not to mention unexpected trips to the bathroom. The number 1 thing is diet and getting used to eating the same boring safe foods. Carbohydrates and pasta, potatoes, fish and seafood, tuna, cottage cheese, lean turkey. I hope this helps someone. I had to type this quick for time but I wanted to get this out there in case it helped someone. I'll try to clean it up and make it more easily readable later, but if you could give me some feedback on trying and success you might have. Questions are welcome too. I'm best reached at jeremynsmith2009@gmail.com.