Chemical pregnancy is quite common in all women. Some women have it and never even know as they just get their period.

My friend had DOZENS of them, as well as 9 actual miscarriages before she was able to carry a baby to term. She liked to say that God knew something was wrong with that baby and the pregnancy and took the cells back. I'm not religious, but I like the idea of nature knowing when something is really wrong.

I went into IVF knowing full well the odds were against me and with a big, big plan B of how I would go on and live my life if we had not been successful. After 3 years of trying, I had to come to terms with the fact that maybe being a Mom was not in the cards for me, and find other interests and paths that would make me feel fulfilled and happy if IVF did not work out. I really think everyone who goes through it should do that, as it really is a gamble, and many women don't win that gamble.

I was 39 when I went through it, and none of it was covered by insurance so we had to put it on a credit card, so doing it again was not an option. You are young enough that you can likely try again at some point, hopefully with success. But if not, perhaps consider a backup plan for your life if being a mother is not in the cards. Backpacking through Europe? Becoming a regular volunteer somewhere? Fostering abandoned children? etc. There is worth and meaning in life even if you are not someone's parent.

I did one fresh IVF cycle and had a healthy delivery.

But when I did a frozen cycle two years later I had a missed miscarriage. My numbers were low to start, never went up and started going down. There was an embryonic sac, but it was empty. It was so hard. They tested the sac after a D&C and couldn't figure out any reason for the missed miscarriage.

So, when I went for my next IVF fresh cycle we decided to go to blast to have the strongest embryo possible. At day 5 I still had some OHHS symptoms so we waited till day 6 to transfer. At that point we had a hatching embryo - already breaking through the cell walls. I was told 95% chance of implantation and they were right. My daughter is now 5 and her personality is much like that embryo exploding from the cell walls. She's a firecracker with an iron will and too cute for her own good looks and personality.

So, my point is, even after unexplained chemical pregnancies or miscarriages, everything can be fine the next time. Don't let it get you too freaked out. Each time you try is a totally unique attempt. But maybe ask about going to blast next time...

Thanks Jill,
It was a little hard reading the first response to my post. The chemical pregnancy was only official this past Tuesday, and it was my first cycle, so to hear I should try to start thinking about not being a parent felt like a twist of the knife. I am just still raw from the whole experience. I guess my fear is that my body is attacking itself again, in a different form. Am looking for successes and people's experiences with ivf and or different testing/ tx that allowed them success. Who did you do your IVF with in the Boston area?
Thanks for your time,
Kate

I can totally understand how raw the emotions are
right now. It is such a roller coaster. I think the key thing from rockandroller's post is to remember that this process isn't everything. Even if this doesn't work for you, you can still have kids - adoption is a great option, and several members here have done it. Keep in mind too, that many people are without the advantage we have in MA of having IVF covered by insurance. For many people one try is all they get so they have to protect themselves with a plan B much sooner.

We went to Boston IVF and saw Dr. Selwyn Oskowitz. We were very pleased with his approach given my medical history (I had a perm ileo when I conceived at ages 34 and 37) and obviously very pleased with the results! He has experience with pouch and ostomy patients and that was reassuring to me.

My girlfriend who does not have a pouch, had great luck with Mass General's IVF practice.

Give yourself some time to be really sad, angry and frustrated. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and decide what is next.

I felt the same as you in many ways. We did 6 rounds of clomid, 4 iui's, 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers. I was really hard on myself with each unsuccessful attempt. I also had a chemical and it's easy to blame your body. Most chemicals occur because of a flawed embryo. Try to think of it in a positive light. You did conceive and have taken one huge step forward. My chemical was with my first frozen transfer. I picked myself up and went on to have a successful transfer a month later. I am now 10 weeks and feel so blessed. Like Jill, I would also recommend trying a blastocyst transfer if possible. Only the strong embryos make it to this point. Do you have any frozen embryos from this past cycle? Best of luck and hope your journey ends on a happy note.

Thanks so much Andrea,
I'm so happy for you! Your post gives me hope
It was a tough cycle. They retrieved 12 mature "good" eggs with only 2 fertilizing on their own. They called me the morning after asking if we wanted to do rescue icsi, which we did. However the rescue icsi has a way lower fertilization rate, so only 3 of the 10 fertilized and none of them were in good enough shape to freeze, which is why they did the 3 day transfer of a nice 8 cell embryo. I'm sure the RE is going to recommend icsi next time. Both my husband and I have tested "within normal limits" so they aren't sure why were had such a low fertilization rate. Do you think I should as for immune testing at this point or try one more time and see what happens? Does anyone have experience with ICSI?

Sorry you had such a poor outcome as far as fertilization. My clinic does ICSI a lot. 7 of the 9 blasts we had were a result of ICSI. I know there is a lot of controversy over this method, but I'm glad they used it for me. My husband has a greater amount of irregular shaped sperm. lol.

As for immune testing, I never looked into it. If your doctor is willing to test, I say go for it. I guess also make sure you insurance covers it.