I feel for you.
I have one, a perianal intrasphincteric fistula "at seven o'clock." Does not involve my pouch at all. Started sort of over a month (had anal "irritation," or so I thought... Then found a bump).
Went through all sorts of issues (first more recent post here:
http://j-pouch.org/eve/forums/...057078926#6057078926)
I have a seton drain. It's more a palliative treatment than a cure. I don't know where we'll go with this, but my surgeon is very laissez faire with how he's approaching this. May have the seton for months to years. He doesn't want to currently pursue a Crohn's diagnosis, because I have no major issues at the moment besides the fistula. I did have outlet narrowing, but he thinks that was more related to the fistula inflammation. We've not totally gotten rid of that as a possibility, but I'm on no Crohn's meds. In fact, I'm only taking Culturelle, Florastor, a B vitamin, and Blackstrap Molasses.
The seton stopped the cyclical filling and bursting of the fistula (that would try to continually abscess), so I'm thankful for that, but it's still not "normal," and bathrooming is more complicated by a bit these days.
I feel for her, and her pain. The abscess then fistula and all I've gone through with it was nearly worse than UC and J pouch surgery, and I'm not kidding.