You are doing just great if this is how you are feeling...your body and mind are adjusting to all of the physical and emotional changes plus the anestheics, drugs, new plumbing etc and that is an awful lot for any single person to process...give it time, baby yourself and your body, get out for walks if you can, breath some fresh air, talk to someone kind and gentle who understands and loves you (or an understanding stranger) and keep busy...Drink tons of fluids because dehydration plays a huge role in both health and mood and emotions...you need tons of sleep now too...it will help your body and mind to recover...
After a while your 'new normal' will feel very normal and your old normal (pain, bleeding, diareah...) will feel very abnormal...
Post often and ask us as many questions as possible and we will all be happy to help and answer...
Sharon

Yes, it's definately a new normal. My UC was so severe and I was very sick for a long time so my j pouch has been a life saver....literally. You are only a month out of all this and it takes some time to get used to. Soon it will all be a distant memory and you will learn to love your new plumbing.

I wanted to add: My sister has had her j pouch for 21 years now. She doesn't give it a second thought anymore...hasn't for a long time. Her j pouch probably thinks its a colon by now!

I certainly feel more "normal" now than I have recently. I'm about 5 months post takedown and things are going pretty well. There was a period of adjustment of course and I too, at times, wondered if I had done the right thing.

You're body will keep adjusting and your new normal will change over time. My normal in the beginning was nothing like my normal now and I expect my normal 5 months from now will be far superior to my current normal. Right now my new plumbing is trying to adapt to my old appetite, so everything's getting a good workout.

I must admit, my views on babying your body are on the other side of the spectrum. Rather than adapt to my j pouch, I'm attempting to make my j pouch adapt to me. It's not always fun, but I think it'll be worth it. In the end, we each have to do what's best for us.

Honestly, the pain, frequency, urgency, and bleeding of UC was starting to become normal to me, so I think we can adjust to anything.

It also took a while for the mourning to catch up to me. I didn't really think twice about losing my colon at first, but months later it hit me. Don't be discouraged about that. I'm feeling better with time.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.

Sharon - You are so sweet. Your response put tears in my eyes. Just validating that this is normal is just what I needed. I have 2 young kids and was back caring for them full time since day 4 post surgery. I haven't had much time to really process anything yet.

Marianne - Such words of hope! Awesome to hear about your sister

Epic - lol. I think I'll be taking the more gentle route but do love your approach.

Ke353 - I know, it's crazy what we have learned to endure with this disease. I guess pooping my pants with UC, pain, etc. isn't really how it's supposed to be.

What your going thru is pretty "normal".

I know I went thru it when I was adjusting to my new plumbing and again after my most recent surgery of a Highly Modified Whipple Procedure and the complications and such after that.

In time, you will "adjust" or "compensate" one way or another and please don't be afraid to talk about what's going thru your mind.

I think if anyone said they didn't experience a little "depression" or "grieving" or "hard time" with all of what we've all been thru in our own unique ways, would be only fooling themselves. Just my $0.02

an old saying, that's true "In time, this too shall pass".

Best of regards!