My world has just collapsed......

Wow! Way to move on! You certainly made some huge changes since you last posted. Very, very impressive. Especially the new cool clothes!

It sounds like you and your (ex)wife are doing the right thing - putting the children first (while not completely losing yourselves). Well done.

Thank you for the update.

kathy

I am very impressed; this is the best news I have read this week. You have come along way..... You are going to be just fine and so will your girls. Congratulations on carving out a new life, and go for the tattoos!

Sue

You sound great! Your townhouse and everything sounds positive. Thank you for dropping by and giving us a progress report.

My mom use to buy herself divorce diamond rings I think a tattoo or 3 is better and not as expensive I'm getting a tattoo myself, I have it picked out but can't decide where to put it on my body!

I'm in weekly therapy too and every once in a while my therapist or I have to cancel. I'm concerned about all of my medical costs as our hefty deductible begins over Jan. 1st too. Talk with your therapist and maybe you can change to every other week. If your family is anything like ours, I alone pay out all of the deductible by the end of April every year. It is always my goal not to spend $4,500 - never happens. I always stock up on medications, order them even if I don't need them but will need them. That usually helps for a month and I don't know why I bother.

You are taking positive steps with the therapy, new home, new clothes, learning the guitar and the tattoo(s). I am impressed at how well you and your Ex are putting your girls first.

There's still going to be some rough patches so hopefully you will stay in therapy and your moving out will go well.

God Bless you and your family.

I wish they had a "like" button on here.

Well done, Poucho. Glad to hear you are on the upswing. Keep up the positive attitude --

Like button here too. Was thinking about you the other day. So happy to hear you are moving forward. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your kids poucho.

Thanks guys... my soon to be ex is now dating her ex that she dated in high school for 4 years now.. nice huh.. Still moving forward and positive thoughts for my new life and my girls. This was not the cause of our divorce, I know this 99.9% to be fact. she was ready for this at least a year ago and tried to hang on but she couldnt.I'm dealing and going to be ok.

Wow! (again) You are doing amazingly brilliantly. I'm so glad that life is looking so good for you.

kathy

Kathy, i do still have my moments. I get in my low moods and do some good crying. I try to tell myself my wife was cheating on me, and thats why she left me but i know thats not the case.She just wants to move on and get on with her life and be happy. She has not been happy for over a year and wanted it to work with us but i just didnt try and make it work. Not sure why cuz i love her just the same. She was by my side through all my issues and i thanks her for that all the time. Just time to move on I guess, I still get really sad about it and it will take along time to heal, but i will.

Well if she wanted to get back together with him it sounds like maybe she decided it was better to end her marital relationship with your first, as she should have. Give her kudos for that, and maybe she did just started seeing him lately.

Is he divorced? If so why? He may be bad news - hope not for your girls sake. Dating is not marrying.

You are getting your new clothes, tattoo and mastering of the guitar so I don't think you are going to have problems attracting some one when you are ready. You have a church to maybe socialize with singles, etc.

hes been divorced for like 10 years, found his wife in a car with another man. he has kids in high school. has a good job and is a good guy, from what i have been told. still dont like it..lol. we told my daughters about the divorce yesterday and they both were crying hysterically. they kept asking why do we have to break up? it was very hard, of course my wife was strong and i was on the brink of crying like a baby. i tried not to let them notice. they are not happy about daddy moving out on Dec 5th

Poucho, I'm so proud of you. Of course you still have bad moments/days -- you wouldn't be human if you weren't feeling badly. However, as heart wrenching as it is, you are rising above it, accepting that you've done what you can and can't control anyone but you, is the reality. You are an inspiration. Know that as long as you are true to yourself, your girls will be okay. Of course the transition is really hard -- but, you will be happier once you're away from this environment, in many ways. They will appreciate that, I promise.

I certainly hope that your attitude will be appreciated by those that need this type of kick in the a$$ to finally let go of the negativity they choose to surround themselves with and start focusing on the positives. Good luck, bud and please continue to share with us.

At least it sounds like your wife selects good guys, YOU, and that guy's not a wack job. Still doesn't make you like the situation!

I sure hope your girls are not assigning the blame to either one of you. That was the worst thing that happened to me as a kid. Mother bad mouthed dad and his new wife and used me to get back at him. The divorce was because of her 5 yr long affair but it was my father's fault, in her crazy mind.

I don't think you have to worry about that at all.
Have a great week.

Hey guys, So my divorce was final this past friday. I cried like a baby and she treated it like just another day. I am doing ok though. I havent seen my therapist in over a month cuz cant afford her now, especially since beginning of the year and deductible not met. still on Lexapro. Im finally starting to move on. I will be ok. As far as my health, still have this sinus in my pouch but all is calm. Lets hope it stays that way

A new year and a new start on life for you. Wishing you the best with your health and your personal life. I have helped a friend cope thru a recent divorce. It's so hard on everyone but she will make it thru and so will you. Take care of yourself!

When a divorce happens it is sad. You have conducted yourself well and your world didn't crash. Here's to a HAPPY New Year and New Life for you and your girls.

I got a tattoo for my birthday before Christmas. My family was laughing when I told them I wanted one. It symbolizes all the suffering I have had in the past and is a reminder, to me, to keep putting one foot in front of another. It is a symbol that means "Acceptance of Optimal Health". It's an ancient angelic symbol, supposedly. I have it on the underside of my arm a bit down from my wrist. One of my best friends, who is an MD, went with me to do it. We have birthdays 2 weeks apart and doing something like this is a ritual. She still has not been convinced to get one but her son and I are working on her. It was a good day and somehow made me feel like I'd taken back some control. I just might have to get another one

So go for it and live free!