So it's been 12 years since my surgery. Total colectomy due to UC and dysplasia. I thought I would be reversed 2 months after surgery but the doc had good news and bad news when I awoke from surgery.. Good news no cancer.. Bad news no reversal. Pathology showed crohns not UC.. I fell into a major depression.. As a wife and Mother to 3 small boys, I thought I would never be able to deal with my new reality.. No I did not have cancer and I was "lucky" as my surgeon stated, but I was not "me" anymore. Weak and exhausted from surgery I thought to myself I should have never gone under the knife... Even with dysplasia!
Over the next few months I started to regain my strength.. I was able to feel a little bit more like me but now I had this appendage attached to my belly. Thankfully I have the most (tears) supportive husband, which is very fortunate. My kids were too little to understand at the time and being 24 22 and 19 now I think they know Mom's deal but being boys it's just not open for discussion��
I have been very healthy with the ileostomy, I go for scopes of my rectum which was left in place every 2 years for surveillance.. I have felt great but still yearn to be back to somewhat normal. I just don't want to live the rest of my life not trying for a reversal... I know they say with crohns no chance.. But my records state indeterminate crohns/UC. I have gone to see many surgeons over the years... Some willing to try the reversal and some not.. No one wants to take a chance with me... I have not had one problem in 12 years.. I know this is a decision I have to make myself.. I wish I could just forget it but it's hard when you look in the mirror everyday longing to be somewhat whole again. I'm just wondering who else is stuck in limbo out there.. And who just "went for it" and is glad they did. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Wishing good health to you all!