Debbie--First off, I am sorry for what you are going through and also what changes you need to face. A couple of thoughts to get you started.
Reading the posts on this site--especially Sharon's posts--will provide you with an excellent background. Remember people who have--or had--problems tend to be on the site. That skewing implies you read about problems--but also resolutions. Despite that drawback, it also informs on what you are getting into.
When I was 68 Dr. Dietz created my k-pouch from a failed J, failed due to chronic pouchitis. I am returning to him, now that he is in NYC. So yes, he is excellent. Perhaps he can create a new J pouch.
Whether you end up with a K or ileostomy, both take additional time no different than what you are now experiencing (I acknowledge you have other problems). Others can weigh in on this, but for me the K takes more time than ileostomy. That said, I prefer the K. I'll let others weigh in on their pros and cons and will chime in later with more of my thoughts.
Peace, Jan