This isn't a cry for help situation.

I can't cope, I want to go. Has anyone felt similar. I just want to go away.

Pleasee tell me what to do.

I have often felt like that. very often. I read the psalms and pray. It usually lifts it some.

It will pass and brighter days are ahead. Promise.

Please find a therapist who has experience treating patients with chronic illnesses, and who has a good relationship with a prescibing doctor. A good therapist, a support group, and the right antidepressant will GREATLY increase your ability to cope with the dark days you have been experiencing.

There IS hope, there IS treatment available, and YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!!! I think all of us have probably had times where we've felt just like you, so know that you are not alone, but also know that many of us NOW FEEL BETTER, and YOU CAN TOO.

Thinking of you...

Ask for immediate referral to a therapist who has experience dealing with chronic illness. Don't delay. Phone your primary care doctor's office, explain what you are experiencing, and be firm that you need to talk to an appropriate person immediately. If your primary care doctor is not available, call your local community health service or failing that, if you are really feeling bad, go to the emergency.

When my UC and complications from surgery were at their worst, I felt very low too, so physically unwell I didn't think I would ever get better or enjoy any reasonable quality of life again. But there is hope, and so many people on this site are living proof of that. There are many people on this site who once could not walk 5 steps, and now can run 5K. It won't always been the way it is now.

Sometimes all this really gets to us, leaving us with no hope. The grace of God is the only thing that got me through the darkest hours of this disease.

I do want to ask though, are you on prednisone by any chance? Has anyone on this board noticed that as you tapered off prednisone, once you got to a certain point, a very terrible, dark, depression came over you?

The first couple of times that happened to me, I was scared, because I'd never felt like that before and felt like I was slipping into a hole I'd never be able to crawl out of. After a few rounds of prednisone, I noticed a pattern. After realizing it was just the meds, I was fine. My husband and I just laughed it off and and soon I was myself again.

I'm curious as to whether this is happening to you, Manchester.

-Roni*

I have felt like this occasionally. I still do. The worst was when I was on an antimalarial that carried a side effect that many called the Mepron blues. I wasn't suicidal or anything. Just really damn sad. More than I ever experienced in my life. Not even apathy. I do think you have been given some good suggestions, especially in relation to the prednisone. Your adrenal glands may need some temporary help to help you over a hump like when you are weaned from prednisone to quickly and your adrenals haven't fully "awoken" yet and aren't producing cortisol as they should. This temporary help may help you deal with the stress of coping/dealing.