I hope this isn't too personal... What about being intimate again after ones "TD"?

You hear about leaking at night, during the day; does anybody feel self conscious about getting close with their partner? Does it stop you at all from getting close?

Is it possible to have leakage while you are having sex? How do you still feel sexy when you just don't know when something may leak out?
Again, I hope this isn't too personal.

Thanks...

Hi Catherine!
Too me, intimacy has not been a problem and yet I am just two weeks post TD. I had to wait a week to feel continent enough. I've had no accidents or any other issues with intimacy. I'm just happy to be bag free!

Catherine,
If you're ever worried about a topic being too personal you may consider asking it in the Women's Health and Pregnancy section where we get REALLY personal

Hey Catherine,

Never had a problem yet and I am 3 years post TD. And I do have other problems with the pouch, so sometimes I am not much in the mood. However when I am no problems at all!

It helps to have the most amazing fiance. I have to brag. hehe I met him after all my surgeries were through. He doesnt mind any of it. Although I have to say that I never had a guy mind when I had the bag either.

Kristen

Thank You for replying and for being so honest...

I appreciate it.

Catherine

I can't answer that as I am still with my friend the bag here, but I am glad you asked! I was wondering that too! I'm sure it must be better than having the stoma.

At first I was concerned like you are but after a few intimate times with my husband I realized I had nothing to worry about. I was much more self conscious with the ostomy and was so happy to have the pouch that I tried not to worry about it.

Also, my husband has been a wonderful support for me through all my UC, surgeries, etc that I knew even if I did leak a bit it wouldn't bother him at all.

If you are concerned the first couple of times, just place a towel under you. Try to relax and enjoy your new health and everything will be fine

I was like Sofia - glad to be bag free. I didn't want sex while I had my ostomy, partly because of body image, partly cos I was just too ill. The only thing I'd say is that I felt like I was "different down there", like they changed my anatomically when they operated. I don't know if they did change me, but it's just different, like I'm smaller (Ha! And you worried about being too personal! Sorry everyone...) Anyway, I'm sure that if you feel ready to be intimate, you should go ahead and enjoy yourself.

I waited about 4 weeks after TD to resume intimacy. Since I did and still do have some issues with nighttime incontinence, I was worried about how much control I would be able to have. I just tried to empty well before hand and go slowly in the beginning. I totally relate to Soph's reply of "it just feels different down there". I even made an appointment with my gynecologist to have him check and said it all looked fine. I think things reposition a bit in the absence of the colon -- not sure how exactly, but it just seems that way. Slowly things feel more normal or we just adjust to the "new" normal. I haven't had any leakage during sex, although have had the sensations of leakage from time to time. Putting a towel under you will help give you confidence that if something does happen it will be easier to clean up. I too, have been lucky to have a husband who has been understanding.

I appreciate you all being so honest. My ex left me while I had the stoma, so I have not been intimate with anyone yet. I was hoping when it did happen, that it would be with him since I had been with him so long. I hope that i can find someone understanding like some of you have found.

Elizabeth, you definitely will meet someone. The world is bursting with amazing people. Your ex didn't stick around, so good riddance.
After take down, with any luck your pouch will work and you'll be able to get well and get on with your plan: living, laughing and loving