I understand. I took Lexapro and it made a huge difference. Do not feel bad about taking them. This is a huge ordeal to be undertaking. Hugs to you

I too became very depressed after my first surgery (had several complications). In fact I am in the hospital now with dehydration! I could barely get out of bed. Cried all the time. I was put on Celexa 40mg (started at 20mg) and I do feel better. Still have good and bad days but much better overall. I am also seeing a therapist 1-2 times a week. I think this process is a difficult one and life-changing. A little help with medicines is not a problem for me if it works. I think it was worth trying... Good luck to you. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

After my first set of surgeries I had to go on Lexapro. I hadn't really dealt with the whirlwind I had just been through and tapering steroids can do it to you too. I just couldn't stop crying. The Lexapro helped a lot. I took myself off of it about a year later I guess. (Of course my roommate went through 2 relapses of cancer and a stem cell transplant and needed nothing to get through it, but we're all different in how we cope!) When trouble started again last fall I tried going on Celexa because I couldn't talk about it without crying and it was really embarassing. However, it made me really nauseous. Lexapro did too for the first week or so, but it went away. I just didn't have the patience to wait for the nausea to go away this time, so I went off of it within a few days.

Now that I've finished with another round of surgeries and am about to be thrown back into my life again I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it without ADs, but we'll see.

Once your body gets used to the meds, those side effects go away. Some people (like me) are just a little more sensitive to the side effects than others.

Hope you find your peace with all this soon. But never underestimate the "huge-ness" of what you've just been through.