This post is really just a big hug and thanks to all you folks who post here and provide a daily dose of sanity for me. I've been coming to this website for about 7 years now. You guys helped me through law school and the Bar examination. You guys have always been there when I needed a lift. The Thursday night chat has been a life-saver. Now, as I recover from my j-pouch removal and permanent ileostomy, you are here to keep me sane.

I noticed that new people tend to critize this site because they think only people who are suffering and having problems post. But I know that lots of people just come back here because its such a loving and supportive, not to mention, hilarious place. Just when I'm feeling sorry for myself and being especially hateful towards Mr. Stoma, I come here, read other posts and my spirits and hope are lifted.

I've been through lots of bad stuff, just like many of the folks who post here. I lost my j-pouch after 17 years of trying to make it work. I had UC for about 10 years before the j-pouch. The pouch was okay for the first couple of years, but then I could not shake the pouchitis. Although I am truly blessed with an incredible husband - loving and supportive - my life has had lots of hurdles. I almost didn't make it over the death of my little brother who dropped dead in his kitchen at age 41 in January 2006. Somehow I have made it through tough times . . . law school, taking the bar exam twice, starting my own law practice, and hospitalizations.

I'm happy to have the permanent ileo but its been a struggle recovering from the surgery. I believe there is a higher emotional aspect to recovering from the ileo and I had so much pain for so long with the j-pouch - I still have a significant amount of pain. Perhaps I'm just overly hard on myself, but I feel like I should be yippy skippy like some of the other people who post here. It seems some folks get their permanant ileo and are back to normal life. I seem to take 6 steps forward and 3 backward. I fight with pain on a daily basis. Its not like when I had pouchitis. That was daily and intense whenever I ate anything. At least now I can eat anything I want. I'm 4 months post surgery and have throbbing pain across my lower belly. Sometimes, its sharp and pulling - which I understand is related to scar tissue. Apparently because I was opened up in the same spot more than 3 times, there is lots of scar tissue there that create pain. Okay, I understand that, but I wake up and feel like I've bene hit by a train. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be pain free.

Oops, I strayed off topic. I wanted to convey appreciation and admiration for all the people who post here and who come back even when they are feeling well. Its good to read both the problem posts and the happy posts. I especially love the funny stuff. Of course, people who have busy healthy lives don't tend to post here, but those that do are the greatest!! The best thing about the internet is the ability to bring people from around the globe to a single place to discuss. That's the real beauty here. THANK YOU to the creators of this site and to all who post here. I couldn't have made it this far without you.

cmkbirdlady
aka Catherine

I'm so glad you're doing well - or weller than you were doing. I, for one, don't expect everyone to be yippy skippy zippy all the time or even part of the time if you don't feel yippy skippy. This is a crappy disease and some of us don't do well with the j-pouch (or k-pouch or s-pouch or w-pouch or an ileostomy). But you do sound very positive about about your life as it is now.

I'm so sorry you lost your brother. That must have been terrible for all of you to go through.

Have you thought of having some sort of massage therapy that can help break up the adhesions? I think that's helped some people immensely.

And finally, congratulations on passing that bar and opening your own firm. Pretty amazing with all that you've been through. You must be very proud of your own dang self!

kathy

Catherine,

I completely agree with you...I love coming here to see what's new with everyone. I'm on usually once or twice a day. Plus, now that I've gotten through a bunch of ^%$# myself, it's therapeutic to be able to offer advice to others who are early-on in the ileo/pouch process. I have learned so much from this site and have used it to get through some pretty rough times. I hope it serves others just as well.

Catherine, my situation is quite different than yours but you have very elequently put into words how I also feel about the people who make this site the welcoming and supportive place that it is. Thank you. I completely echo Copperhead's sentiments. I hope that your pain goes away quickly.

Suzanne

I agree, Catherine, this site has been a real life saver for me. So sorry for the loss of your brother. So tragic at such a young age. Good luck in your further recovery.

I just wanted to add to the praise of what Catherine has said about the group.
I know I don't post that offen but I do read the boards and get inspired by all the success stories as well as all the wonderful caring advice that passes between this "Awesome Group".
Thanks to all of you
Chris